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2 Bumps

What would you have done?

I know a woman who hated the idea of her son playing with guns. She made a hard and fast rule that he wasn't to have any and made sure that her friends and family all knew it so that when birthdays or other gift giving reasons came along there were no issues. However, her family was HIGHLY against this rule, for what reason, I'll never know. But when the boy turned 5 they all went out and bought him toy guns... Pop guns, bee bee guns, squirt guns... You name it... And he got them all at his party...

His mother was HORRIFIED - and BEYOND PISSED!! But at the same time felt overly guilty when she had to take all his new gifts off of him...

As his 6th birthday comes she's afraid to even invite her family to the party, because she doesn't want a repeat...

How would you have dealt with the issue of them buying guns? And second, how would you deal with the nearing 6th year birthday party? These are still his family members...

Answer Question
 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 12:41 AM on Aug. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I would have taken the toy guns given at his birthday and returned them for different gifts. This year I would tell them if they bring a gun, they will be asked to leave with their "gift". And it will be on them to see his sweet little face full of heartache because they chose to go against your wishes.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:45 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I am not a fan of my kids playing with guns... but I haven't made a big public spectacle of it. As a result it's really a none issue. Every once an a while a squirt gun will show up... but the next day it's gone... poof... no one seems to notice. So I guess I would not have let it get that out of control in the first place.


    Maybe this Mom should have a party and say "no gifts please". Then she can have the party and if people brings gifts she has a reason to hold them to open later... so that those who did not bring gifts won't be embarrassed by those who did bring them. Then she can preview the gifts before the child sees them??  

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 12:49 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • i agree say gift cards only or invite other people or have a private party or open the gifts before hand and return them...it sounds like the fam did this on purpose...
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:54 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Apparently, from the story I got, they did do it on purpose... Her mother planned it to "teach her a lesson." This year she wants to have a party with his school friends, but she still feels guilty not inviting her family and is honestly afraid if she doesn't invite them they will show up and ruin the whole thing... Apparently, this is just how they are...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Comment by SabrinaMBowen (original poster) at 12:56 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • That is really sad! My mom did that to my sister with barbies.
    She needs to just distance herself from her family if they are going to be such interfering turds.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:59 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • HaHa... That's the story of my life! (the interfering turds part) And her's too, but it's easier said than done...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Comment by SabrinaMBowen (original poster) at 1:01 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Maybe she can have the party at an undisclosed location, to avoid the intruding family. I know if it'd been me, my family would be hanging their heads in shame still..And not be welcome at the next event.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 1:10 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • umm..if i had told my family NOT to buy them then i would've taken them away the second he had opened them....they would've felt like the ass clowns for buying them. I wouldve made them apologize to my child. I then would've taken my child out later to pick out gifts and i would tell them that they are not welcome to come to anymore parties for pulling such nonsense
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:10 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I think her biggest issue is that her family is her only childcare... Being a single mom there really aren't other options and I think she is afraid of that kind of thing... But I tend to agree that she needs to get rid of them... Personally, I don't know how she didn't just deck her mom the moment it all happened... But that's me!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Comment by SabrinaMBowen (original poster) at 1:13 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • In my family this is how we made our own rights to our own peace. I let the family do their thing. then they can just go about, face their day after --and it's peaceful and now it's part 2. If it's not for spite, but let's be fair now..... this 2nd party I plan and we do with whomever our child chooses, and it's his way, his place, his friends.

    Now everyone has peace.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 1:19 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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