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At what age do you think a child can be spoiled?

My Dd refuses to sleep in her crib most the time. I've gotten her to fall asleep there on her own, but only when she's not teething (and her teething is constant! Even if she has medicine, she refuses to fall asleep there while teething, she'd rather cry all night long). She's 15 months old and so my family say that she's spoiled because she won't sleep there. I work, so I just put her in bed with me and be done with it, because that way I can sleep too. Do you think this makes her spoiled?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:44 AM on Aug. 4, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • i don't think she is spoiled hun, My dd is 21 months old and on most night when she is not in pain from teething she goes to sleep on her own, but if she is teething and in pain, there is no way that she will go to sleep in her crib alone either! I wouldnet really worry about it as long as when she is not teething she is willing to go to sleep on her own, i wouldnet say she is spoiled.
    Good Luck!
    mommylisar

    Answer by mommylisar at 9:10 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • At 3 months old they don't have wants they have NEEDS and while you might not agree with their need to be held it is truly a need for survival. I do not believe that meeting their needs is spoiling them and they should not be broken of those needs. As for 15 months old and the sleeping issue she is in pain while teething and wants comfort how is that spoiled? When you are in pain or sick don't you want comfort? I know I certainly do.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:05 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Kids can be spoiled even as babies. My dd was spoiled with in two months of moving up to my MIL.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 4:19 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I think a 3 month old can be spoiled. They learn pretty early that crying is how they get what they want. I've done the CIO method with all four of mine and it truly only take 3 to four days before they stop fighting going to sleep in their crib. My LOs are two to five now and they go to sleep and night and nap without a peep. And they are very happy kids :)
    jreneei

    Answer by jreneei at 6:34 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • You have to be consistent with it, I know it sucks horribly when they are screaming their lungs off but you have to put them in their crib and let them cry it out but check on her too so they dont think you abandoned them. Be firm do not pick her up but talk to her softly 3-5 mins and then leave. She will learn that you are not going to give up and finally adjust to sleeping in her crib. Hope that helps :)
    Okigurl

    Answer by Okigurl at 7:22 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • honestly I believe as newborns you can spoil them. With my first she was my first baby and stuff so I held her all the time she got to where she didn't want to be down at all. If she was down she would cry none stop. She was a month old when it happened I had to break her from it at 3 months cause I couldn't get anything done whatsoever. With my second DD I remember the nurses telling me how cute she was and she was the only girl in the nursery so she was being passed around quit often they said someone was always holding her in the nursery (unless of course if Ihad her) I brought her home the day I brought her home she would not let me put her down at all. I had to break her from wanting held all the time, but I believe they can be spoiled at a couple days old
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 8:07 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Well, just in response to a few of you. I've done CIO before. It worked for two weeks and the minute she got sick, it no longer worked, and I think it's cruel to leave a sick child crying in a crib for any reason. So, I took her out and put her to sleep and laid her in her crib, but when she wakes up in the middle of the night, I sleepwalk in to get her. I don't wake up. So, I can't control what I do in the middle of the night and my Dh can't wake up before me or anything. So, I eventually just gave up trying, cuz I can't do anything about her night wakings. I still put her to sleep and put her in her crib or on her mat and she sleeps really well most of the time, but when she's teething it doesn't matter how much medicine I give, she won't sleep! She waits until she's exhausted to fall asleep and it's horrible! But then as soon as she feels better, she's back to sleeping again.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:12 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • As for her being spoiled and always wanting held, I agree, I broke her of that at three weeks, because I knew she'd be going into daycare and need broken of it. But she's never been a good sleeper ever! She used to wake 3 times a night to eat (breastfed) and I would wake up with her every time. I think that's why I've started sleepwalking.. because she just wakes up. She still won't sleep for 12 hours at night like it says in books. She sleeps ten hours at night and takes a 2-3 hour nap, but she always wakes up and fusses a bit at night (we cosleep most the time) and I've noticed that when I'm awake and don't feed her, she still falls back asleep after fussing, but sometimes I feed her in my sleep, and I really can't help that.

    I'm really just wondering if you think this makes a child spoiled? She will fall asleep in her crib (she cries but she'll do it) when not teething.. just when teething she refuses and needs comfort.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:15 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I don't feel you are spoiling her if she is miserable when teething. I don't think she will end up spoiled because of that. You commented that she does well falling asleep when she's not teething. That is the real test, I think. I do agree it is difficult to deal with babies who want to be held all the time. I didn't experience that with mine, but I did with the baby I do childcare for. But I do as the family wishes in that case. I'm not there 24/7.
    I think of kids being spoiled when they are older, have tantrums to get what they want, and the parents give in. Or have everything in the world given to them and they don't have to earn it in any way. And when they are with other kids they let you know in some way that they are entitled.
    Good luck with your sweetie!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:02 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I wouldn't say spoiled 100% Maybe only 50%? Which is a good amount of spoiling to me. My DS is 19 months and he goes to bed on his own every night. But if he is sick? oh forget it. You better be cuddelign him from dawn till dusk. Personally I dont mind, because when I am sick, I want to be held to feel safe too. I am just too big for anyones lap now! :-) My ioldest is 9 he did not sleep in his crib/bed through the night until he was 3. I didnt think of it as spoiled until moms started tell me he was, I just thought of it as he was extra lovey. If she is uncomfortable from teething then I wouldn't worry too much, especially wheere you said she does go by herself when not teething. Maybe she just needs the extra mommy love
    jellis

    Answer by jellis at 11:01 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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