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well after 7 yrs and 2 kids im leaving my husband. its just and abusive relationship (from him) no im not perfect but im not mean on perpose. he is abusive with words and will throw things and last night was the end i told him if he ever even raised a hand to me i would leave and he fractures my hand from squeezing it so hard thats what he does hell push me throw me squeeze never punch but i know this isnt normal and my kids have seen it a few times... i told him i was leaveing or he could leave and he told me to. ive never had to work for these seven years everything is his i dont know what to do or where to start.... i dont know what im asking i just am lost right now. :(

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whitenena

Asked by whitenena at 7:32 AM on Aug. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,298 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Get legal help and I hope you have friends/family who you can go to for help. Your state's bar association should be able to lead you to some legal help. Look over their website carefully to get to the information that might help you. Google your state and the words "bar association". I wish you all the best. Know that you are doing what is right for you and your children.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:37 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I tried looking @ your profile so I could offer advice specific to the state your in....call up your local domestic violence agency. Ask them for help & resources. Call & go into a local job placement services center for help w/ your resume & a job. Good luck, know you are doing the right thing for you & your kids. Yes this is abuse!
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 7:41 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Okay first (((HUGS))) second you need to get some place safe do you have anyone who will take you in if not there is no shame staying at a shelter for the night. Third take care of yourself and the kids even if it means getting on PA for a couple months while your doing all of this you should make a plan to go back to work or school if you pick school it will help you take care of yourself and your children. Be safe and take care of yourself. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:50 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • First of all, I applaud you for getting out. A lot of women do not have the strength or respect for themselves and their children to do what your doing. I hope that there is a friend or family member that you can stay with temporarily until you get a game plan. Apply for some kind of assistance, please don't not feel like this is a bad thing. Any American would be more than happy to have their tax dollars help out a woman standing up for herself and her children. Things will get better. You have already shown how strong you really are. Get out there and apply for some jobs, look into daycare (there is also assistance with daycare that you can apply for as well). I wish you the best of luck and nothing but happiness!
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:13 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • oh honey i am very sorry to hear all this. first off i woud press charges against him for breaking your hand. you might need this for when you go to court for the divorce and custody. a women's abuse shelter might be a good place to start out getting back on your feet.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:49 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Call a local Domestic Violence Shelter or http://www.ndvh.org/resources/resource-download-center/ and just talk with someone.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:56 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • What you should have done is called the cops. They will take him out of the house & you can go file a restraining order against him so he won't be allowed back in the home. Then you file for temporary full custody of your children, then you file divorce. Since you did not work & you've been raising the children, it's very likely that you will be entitled to the house & get alimony while he still pays most of the bills. If you can find & afford a lawyer, they will help you get what you need easily. You should be able to get the house, you are the one raising the kids. He should get out, not you.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:58 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • get a lawyer... you're still entitled to your share if you leave...
    find a safe place to go... take important papers with you (birth certificates, social security cards, etc...)
    check out local shelters, they can help you find more resources to support yourself (they prob have ways to help you get legal help too)
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 9:59 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Your married 1/2 of everything is yours. 7 years not having to work only guarentees you will get shild support AND Alimoney! Dont believe him! Contact a womens shelter in your area. They will get you and your kids out and keep you safe, and help you to start over. He's a nut bag if you ask me. Leave now while you still have the courage, or accept his abuse and wait for the day he does beat you to death or turn on one of your kids.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:09 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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