Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

This morning I will be putting a restraining order on my BIL, am I doing the right thing?

I live next door to my older brother & sister. Both are married & just my brother & I have kids. My sister is married to this guy who seems to be starting trouble with everyone. When we first met us, he started trouble with my parents & my older brother cussing my parents out & calling my mom names like B***H etc. So he & my older sister left for a whole year, when they finally had no where to go they came back & my parents allowed them to stay in the double wide trailer. 3 yrs go by & they were pretty cool but BIL started bickering & bugging people again. This past weekend he was so angry that one of my nieces dogs got loose & was chasing one of his chickens. My older brother retrived the puppy but BIL comes out with a gun & starts saying F U I am going to kill that dog! etc! My brother had his kids outside & everyone was watching. One of my nieces is terrifyed & has nightmares that he will come and shoot her (to be continue

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Aug. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • (continued) and the whole family. Anyway BIL has been a teacher until he was charged with molesting some girls in a former school he worked at. He went through 3 judges till tyhe 3rd one just let him go with probation. He always has a fasinaction with womens boobs and will comment me in my body althought i dont say anything cuz of my sister is in love with him. Anyways yesterday he tried to bicker and start a fight with my husband and talking badly about my daughters and that just pissed my hubby off. I told DH not to do anything and to leave him alone! So Last night I made my decision to put a restraining order on him cuz this needs to stop. If I do this I know both my sisters who love him will be mad at me and the whole family for doing this and I just need to know if I am doing the right thing!? Thanks!

    Answer by navajomama7 at 9:29 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • So the family is on board with this except for your two sisters, is that right? If so, do it. He sounds like he has serious problems and needs to go away. I would not be okay with someone like that living by my kids let alone anyone elses.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:32 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • It sounds to me that this guy has some serious issues. I wouldn't want him anywhere near my family! I would say you are doing the right thing.

    Answer by musicalbabe85 at 9:32 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Both your sisters? You have 2 sisters that love him? If you put a TRO on him, one of you will have to move, I believe, if he lives next door. The individual has to stay like 500 feet from the one with the TRO.
    IDK, but things will just escalate if he stays there. Someone will get hurt, or worse. That's a really tough situation.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:37 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • How on earth can your sister love a man who inappropriately touched young girls? I think there is something wrong with your sister too. I would do it. On what grounds wre you filing though? Harrassment?

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:37 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Yes it's the right thing. They will probably be mad at you for a very long time very very long time. BUT, things could get worse, and so if you nip it in the bud now , he will know you mean business, and maybe stop. Eventually, your sisters will forgive you because they will
    find out the hard way what he is like and what he is capable of doing. God Bless Them.

    Answer by jewels4you119 at 9:38 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Is is possible for you, your DH & children to move somewhere else, even if it is in the same town or neighboring town? If you get a restraining order I assume your plan is to eventually get him arrested. So that will also upset your sisters. You need to remove your family from this situation. That is the solution. Stay away from this man. That's it. Unfortunately your sister cannot control her husband and therefore your whole family including your parents have to suffer. So, either everyone sits down & talks to them & asks them to leave or you have to leave. Good Luck. This Man is making everyone else suffer for his past mistakes & he is obviously spiraling downward. He needs a JOB or things will only get worse for your whole family.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:40 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Is it* Possible (sp)

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:41 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Your sister is a FOOL! All of you are because none of you called the police when he was brandishing a gun! Does he have a permit for this gun? If he's on probation he CANNOT OWN OR POSSES A GUN YA KNOW!!! Your all playing games, It sounds like it's only a matter of time before he shoots one of you!

    Answer by vbruno at 10:04 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I would not want a molester living in such close proximity to my children, especially if his victims were girls. Secondly, his violent outburst could turn out to be dangerous. Imagine if your daughter chased a chicken, how would he react? I think you have no choice but to do it. You can't have the children living in fear.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:04 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.