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What's the deal with kids not helping out around the house? Is this a new trend?

OK My DS is 3 & he does help me as best he can with cleaning up his toys etc. & helping his Daddy outside. But, I am talking about kids & young adults. My neighbors have young kids, teens and kids in their early 20's & they do nothing to help the parents around the house. They walk right past the mailbox, garbage pails & daily paper & would not think in a million years to pick anything up & bring it into the house. The Parents always do it. The 10 year old son does nothing but sit in the house too. I am no slave driver but I intend for my DS to become self sufficient & will teach him to do these things. When I was young, I did all this plus yardwork, cleaning & cooking. And I am all the better for it. Is this a New trend to not ask your kids to do absolutely Anything? God help these kids when they leave their Parents house or will they ever?


Asked by ILovemyPaulie at 12:43 PM on Aug. 4, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 42 (144,140 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Perhaps I can mention something about "getting" kids to do things. Children learn by imitation, by the modelling of people around them, especially their parents & siblings.

    Until they're 8, doing a task WITH them - having them help YOU with a task - is the way to go. Think about it. If the task is presented as something distasteful, something they "HAVE TO" do, then how can they possibly feel positive about it? And if, on top of that, the parent ordering them to do it demonstrates that the task is beneath the parent's dignity (which is what it does when YOU refuse to do a chore - you show that doing this task is so bad that YOU will have nothing to do with it), then how can the child feel enthusiasm for it?
    Kids are not trained animals. They are not being bad if they don't obey. There is nothing wrong with making a task easier for them by having them help YOU. Once it is familiar and easy, then SOMETIMES they can (cont'd)

    Answer by waldorfmom at 1:30 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Yeah, its called spoiling your kids rotten haha. When my dd is old enough she will definitely have chores. Idk why parents let their children be so lazy!

    Answer by Morgs7531642 at 12:45 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I don't know. In my house everyone has chores.

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:45 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • The trend is called being lazy lol.

    Answer by cynprz at 12:48 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • It's not a trend but parents that enable their kids to do whatever. I have the same situation with a close friend and they spoil their kid and the grand parents do the same. If it's not in my house, I don't care because I have other things to deal with. When I see it happen to others, I don't blame the kids, it's not their fault for having parents that constantly pick up after them and don't share the burden of keeping up the house and yard. Maybe I'm just different, but chores and respect are high on my list.

    Answer by NikkiVan1 at 12:52 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • the entitled kid is an issue, what are they like as grown ups?~who would want to marry that?

    Answer by surfcitymom at 12:46 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I dunno... My kids are 3 & 4 and they both help with the chores... When I had a teen he did too. I expect my kids to help around the house & have jobs as teens - and be out or in school once they are 18... I think people are to afraid that they are going to ruin the relationship and they don't understand that giving then some type of responsibility adds to that relationship rather than tears away at it.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:46 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Both of my children started cleaning up after them self at age one. Little things like their toys or something like that. While we sang a song. Now fast foward to now and my son is eight years old. He's going through the you can't make me stage. Which means grounded for back talking and not cleaning your room.Also taking things away for not picking them up. Some people don't think that children should do anything at a young age.

    Answer by elly25 at 12:47 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I hope I don't hurt anyones feelings By useing the the word fat, But that is what is going to happen to alot of kids. My Dh and I always had chores. He lived on a farm, but still I didn't, I did dishes got the mail and clean my room after school, Yard work....Kids are just to LAZY! MY dd is only 13 mo. SHE WILL BE HELPING DH & I!!!!!!

    Answer by Mrs.Elgert at 12:56 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I am working on that issue with my children. My dd who is 6 yo refuses to do ANYTHING she doesn't want to do. She is in time out more often than not. She spends at least an hour in time out everyday for serious things such as hitting and throwing toys. I don't understand how other parents can get their kids to do things. We have therapists coming to our house to work with her.

    Answer by ashisamom at 12:57 PM on Aug. 4, 2010