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What do I do when my son refuses to get out of Time Out?

My oldest is 4. We try to use spanking as a last resort. But when I use timeouts he refuses to get up when his time is up. For example, he is in timeout for hitting his brother. I gave him 4 mins, he served his time, but when I told him to get up and go tell his brother he's sorry he just ignores me & refuses to even get up. He just acts like he doesn't even hear me... He's been sitting in there for over 5 mins past his time... Because he refuses to get up. I feel like time out can't work the way it should if the child doesn't want to get up... On the other hand, beyond picking him up and FORCING him out of timeout - something I can't do at this point anyways because he's almost 50lbs and I'm very pregnant - I don't know what else to do... But at the same time, he STILL isn't listening...

HELP!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Aug. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • i would spank him...
    mommy.loves.2

    Answer by mommy.loves.2 at 2:06 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I would just leave him there until he decided to get up.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 2:09 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Not sure I see what spanking would accomplish. . If he wants to continue sitting there, just let him sit there. When he doesn't get a reaction from you, he'll get bored with the whole thing. When he finally gets up, make sure the first thing he does is apologize (or whatever action he was suppose to take).
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 2:11 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • He is showing you that he is in control. If he can't beat you one way, he will beat you another. I never found time-outs very profitable. Spanking on the other hand worked very well for me. You have to do it correctly, and you have to be very consistent, then it will work. It's the only way I know to teach children that their parents are the authorities to whom they must answer, and that there will be painful consequences when they are disobedient or disrespectful.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:11 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • It seems he wants to turn it into a battle or at least get a rise out of you. He wants control over the situation. I might try saying, "Your time is over. You can come out when you're ready to apologize to your brother." Then just walk away and don't let him know that it bothers you. I think he will get bored with it when he doesn't get any drama (reward).

    I'm going through the same with my almost 3 year old daughter; I send her to her room, and when I come back to ask if she's sweet she'll say, "No, I'm still sad." So, I just tell her she can come out when she's sweet and I walk away. She's getting nothing out of it, so she usually gives up pretty quickly and comes out.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:25 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • let him sit there. i would just tell him his time is up then walk away. the more you react the more he will do it.
    happy-go-lucky

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 4:21 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • just leave him there until he decides to stand up. eventually he will get tired and bored from sitting there. just make sure he does apologize at the end.
    sodapple

    Answer by sodapple at 10:42 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I agree to tell him his time is up and leave it at that.
    SultryLadyBug

    Answer by SultryLadyBug at 4:07 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • tell him his time is up don't say he has to apologize to his brother.. if he pitches a fit like my daughter dose I send her to her room lol she hates that with in a minute she comes out I crying mommy. I tell her she needs to not hit brother that is unacceptable behavior and she needs to say sorry. she gives me a hug and brother a hug and we move on with our day.

    amanda_23

    Answer by amanda_23 at 6:00 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I think it's all about approach with kids. and if you spank your kid saying no spanking others I think that tells the kid that spanking is ok as kids learn by their parents behavior.
    amanda_23

    Answer by amanda_23 at 6:01 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

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