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2 Bumps

Need help finding a fair custody solution

BM informed us last night that she is moving in mid september an hour away. SO shares 50/50 custody with her. Last year she moved 30 min away and since than we have been forced to drive the children to school an hour our of our way twice a week as well as making the drive to pick them up on Saturdays. Bm has moved 6 times in two years and last year changed the childrens school district without SO consent. This year he has decided to fight the children being moved to yet another school. He is requesting the court to have them return to the school that they had originally attended by our home for 3 years. The problem is we need to suggest a fair alternative to the half week schedult that Mom has now. She suggested that she get the children every weekend and all non school days. SO declined becasue we don't want to be forced to have one parent be the "fun vacation" parent while the other is the "strict work/ school" parent. Both

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Asked by hotrodlassie at 7:53 PM on Aug. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,696 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Both he and BM work full time. We have suggested alternating weekends, a night a week during the weeks that she does not have the weekend plus a two week vacation time for both of us in June, all of july for her and One week of winter break. But that was not recieved kindly. Do you have any other suggestions? Can you think of a suggestion that would be fair to both parents? We need to come up with a solution soon as SCHOOL STARTS NEXT WEEK!!

    Thanks :-)

    Comment by hotrodlassie (original poster) at 7:56 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • she kids kids 2 weeks you get kids the 2nd 2 weeks?

    Answer by kaysha at 7:59 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Gosh that's a tough one! They certainly should go to school close to you guys and keep it that way though, with all of the BM's moving. Have you guys been through an official mediation?

    Answer by Jessica157 at 8:16 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I would suggest that mom and dad go to a mediation with the courts to figure this one out. It sucks that it has to happen now only one week away from school starting though. :(

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:49 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • @ kaysha: That would work but the kids would need to be in only one school and someone would have to drive more than an hour to take the kids to school during their weeks than drive an hour back to work :-(
    @ Kimberly & Jessica: We looked into Mediation last year but she refused to help pay for it and their is no way we can afford the 200.00 an hour.
    I hope that we will be able to come up with a mutually satisfing proposal so we can settle out of court

    Comment by hotrodlassie (original poster) at 9:23 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I don't have any ideas, but wanted to say good luck!

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 9:58 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • thank you all for taking the time to respond :-)

    Comment by hotrodlassie (original poster) at 10:02 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • My husband's ex lives about 45 minutes away, so we get our stepson every weekend. We pick him up from school on Fridays, and she comes and gets him Sunday mornings. If, she has something planned for a weekend, and she lets us know in advance, we will let him stay with her, but that only happens about once every couple months. During school breaks, we revert to a 50/50 schedule, where he spends 3 or 4 nights here, and then 3 or 4 nights there. We tried an every other weekend approach during the school year, but I felt that just wasn't fair to my boys, who missed their brother for two weeks before getting to see him again. We are all very flexible, and willing to make accommodations to the schedule when needed, which is what makes this work so well for us. I would not deny my step son a weekend at the beach with his mother, just as she would not deny him a weeks vacation time with us.

    Answer by my2.5boys at 10:42 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

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