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What should I do ?

A couple years ago I won a large amount of money... I gave some to family and to my best friend ( of about 9 years) , I bought a house and car and although I do have a large amount left I am trying to save ( staying on a budget) . I do give to charities and do help alot of people in need..... But the problem is the other day my friend ( the one mentioned) asked me to pay for her brothers court fees. The problem is I cant stand her brother and I think he deserves to be in jail. He is in trouble ( again ) for burglary. He has always got in trouble for doing stupid stuff ( stealing and drugs) he is alot older than us and has 5 kids. I think he is piteful. But I love my friend and she is begging me to do this... but it makes me sick to think about this idiot getting off scott-free AGAIN ( someone always bails him out)... she knows I dont like him and she also thinks he is in the wrong but says she cant not help him....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Aug. 4, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (15)
  • no, I don't think you should do it. It's his fault and it's not like it's his first offense. It's not responsibility to take care of him, even if you can afford it.
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 8:34 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • no i wouldnt. and i'd be honest with her as to why.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:36 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Sorry, but I would tell her "HELL NO!" I think you've been far too generous and now people expect for you to give freely. Save YOUR money and do what you need to ensure the security of your immediate family.
    TipToe19

    Answer by TipToe19 at 8:37 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Do not enable him. If your fiend is truly a friend she will accept it. If she doesn't believe me you are buying her friendship. When you enable people to continue with bad behavior you are not doing them a favor.
    KISS1224

    Answer by KISS1224 at 8:37 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I cant believe she asked you for bail money. See, thats why Im glad Im dead broke,,,lol,,I wouldnt do it either. He needs to learn from his actions.
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 8:38 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I would tell her sorry, but no. You are not obligated to bail her brother out of trouble. I know she is your friend..and it would be hard for me to tell a friend of mine no as well..but if she was a friend to you as you are to her...she would not hold a grudge for you saying no about this. Her brother needs to learn a lesson and grow up. He got himself there, let him get himself out.
    Good Luck.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:38 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • no you shouldn't do it, its not your brother to worry about
    liljess09

    Answer by liljess09 at 8:40 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I would not do it. This is about having healthy boundaries. It is not healthy to provide "help" to someone that will actually damage them. Your friend does not have healthy boundaries with her brother, and if you give her the money, you will be setting a precedence for unhealthy boundaries with her. A true friendship must be set on healthy boundaries or it's not a good friendship. Let this unhealthy cycle stop with you and maybe you will give your friend the strength to set the boundaries she needs to set with her brother. Maybe she really needs to be able to say to him, "I'm not able to help you this time." If you lose your friend over this, that is really heartbreaking, but if she's a true friend, she must understand. Don't feel like just because you HAVE the money you need to give it or make excuses. The answer is no because this would not truly be a HELP, but a HARM.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 8:40 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I would not do it. He needs to stay where he is.
    ChaoticAtBest

    Answer by ChaoticAtBest at 8:44 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • You are under no obligation to help this man out nor do I think you should. However I don't think there is anyway you can refuse without hurting your friend. I think you need to be honest and state that you have plans for the money and more worthy causes to give it to than someone who is a plague on society. Let her know that you love her, and understand her desire to protect her brother, but this is not something you are willing to do. Hopeful if you are honest but kind she will get over her hurt quickly and you two can continue your friendship. GL.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 8:44 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

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