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how does everyone connect to thier teens

I have one teen that is boy crazy how do you connect and keep her from making a mistake my other teen girl is not that way and she is older then my boy crazy one

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mumto5teenagers

Asked by mumto5teenagers at 8:47 PM on Aug. 4, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • good luck with this..lol I have a 16 yr old boy and I just make sure that we talk, we talk about sex, drugs, just about anything. He knows he can come to me. My oldest daughter will be 11 in a few days and I truly do not look forward to her getting into boys..lol I just know that I will make sure we talk and maintain an open line of communication.
    ChaoticAtBest

    Answer by ChaoticAtBest at 8:52 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I guess for me it is a bit weird as I have four children that I gave birth to and they are just not into the whole boy thing and then I have an adopted daughter that is just the opsoite as I said and she is totally boy crazy but it is strange how she does seem to be changing as she spends more time with us... she has been with us just over a month now long story but I love like my own and I see her opening up more and trusting more and becomeing more like my own children as we spend a lot of time talking
    mumto5teenagers

    Comment by mumto5teenagers (original poster) at 8:56 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • there is no set answer.... if you wanted to connect with me you would go trail running or hiking with me. If you wanted to connect with my neighbor you would quilt with her. If you tried to quilt with me I would be board out of my mind and avoid spending time wit you.


    My point being is that you have to do what she likes to do. I have sat through some of the most God awful movies and tv shows just to "connect" with my 15 yr old daughter... but some of that crap (and I do mean crap) has lead to GREAT conversations!!!! So try to figure out what she likes... do it with her... and let the conversations evolve.

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 8:58 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I talk with her all the time...not at her, but with her. I talk about her topics, friends, boys, boys, boys, facebook, sex...you get my point. I try to spend a lot of time with her...sometimes just doing nothing
    ckap4707

    Answer by ckap4707 at 9:02 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Don't make the mistake of talking at her, like pp said. I did that when I was very worried about some things, and it came back to bite me. I have had to back way off. I agree that doing things she likes to do opens up paths of communication that might not otherwise exist.
    dflygirl7

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 8:11 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I don't have a daughter so I'm probably not much help, I have boys. My younger son 12 is right now starting to dip his toe into being interested in girls and "dating" them. My older son went through it too about that age. I think its pretty normal, now my older son is starting to step in and teach my younger son that at his age and even through HS he shouldn't be dating to just date and should be his priority either. I'm lucky in that respect. I'd continue to talk to her and show interest in the things that interest her.
    I would also wonder if maybe part of the reason for the boy crazy attitude could have anything to do with feelings of loss or abandonment? Maybe looking for something outside the home that she didn't have before you adopted her? You might want to just talk with her more about her feelings to feel this out, and then continue to build the trust and stability to help with any potential self-esteem issues
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:47 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Talk until you or her is blue in the face. If that don't work then get her into therapy asap. Unless you are ready to be a grandma.
    annie610

    Answer by annie610 at 8:23 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You have to just make time for them. They arent really going to make time for you. Trust me I have two teenager's. These kids are hard to read most of the time, but are also misunderstood. I really think deep down inside they still want their mothers love shown to them, but they arent going to ask for it. My son will be playing video games or something, and I will just sit next to him and just make small talk. They might not even say much, but show them you are there, that your interested in whats going on. I hug my boys even when they are like "mom...get out of here" they laugh so I know they want to know that I love them, but of course they wont show it...god forbid!
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 2:19 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

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