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How do I show my daughter the right way when she hates to make a mistake?

My 5 year old is having a hard time learning because she is so fearful of making a mistake. I keep telling her that it's okay to make mistakes and that's the way you learn, but she either refrains from doing things (like writing certain letters and numbers even riding a bike) or gets upset if she is shown the correct way. Any suggestions?

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Asked by KsMom12 at 1:36 AM on Oct. 5, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • Has someone put it in her head or influenced her to make her be this way. That would by my first question. I think it would be best for you just to let her do it on her own and just let her know that if she has a question then she can ask you. Let her know its okay to make mistakes as you already have told her and maybe tell her that you make mistakes too and give small examples. I know a friend of my mother said her 7 year old was like this and one night she cooked something and burned it on purpose and in front of her daughter, she said on I made a mistake, I left it in too long. I guess I'll just TRY to do better next time and then she brushed it off. She said that her daughter asked her why she wasnt upset about burning dinner and she told her that it just wasnt that big of a deal and everybody makes mistakes no matter what they do. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Being a SAHM, she really doesn't spend much alone time with other adults that could influence her. Her teacher in Kindergarten noticed it also. When they did timed testing, she didn't do so well because she wanted that affirmation that each answer was correct. She just doesn't want to answer it unless she knows for sure that she is right. I always tell her that it's okay when she makes a mistake but she still gets upset and doesn't want me to watch her write. I do give her a lot of praise and compliments and she responds well to that, it's only if I point out or try to help her in any way.

    Answer by KsMom12 at 2:18 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Since she doesn't like it when people tell her she makes a mistake, see how it will go if you get her to critique herself each time she does something.Let her write her letters and then let her see if she made a mistake. I work in K and this is a new one for me. LOL, some could care less if they are good or not.

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:58 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I would start trying to de-sensitize her to making a mistake. Maybe you could be an example and point out when you make mistakes..."no big deal, I should have done it this way" and show how quickly it can be remedied.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 8:29 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Yep, I was going to say start messing up. make silly mistakes you know she can catch. then let her catch you. show her how to react to making a mistake. oops, you are right, shoes DON'T go in the fridge. thanks for helping me do it right.
    you could make messing up a game. like maybe make a bunch of letters and have her tell you which one is wrong and ask her to help you make it the right way.
    I also do that whole learnig to walk thing. Ask her if she always knew how to walk. Then tell her about how many times she fell down, but that she always got back up and look, now she can run. Stories like that always help remind my kids that you have to crawl before you can walk and you have to walk before you can run.

    Answer by teri4lance at 11:12 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I agree that pointing out when you or other family make mistakes is a good idea. It will also teach her that it is okay, that everyone does it, and may also help her learn ways to deal with disappointment. You could also try watching tv with her, and talking about what mistakes the people made and how they dealt with it or corrected it. Maybe this will help her not see the little things as such big mistakes. My son was the same way. He's 9 now, and still very self-conscious, but much better.

    Answer by KidsHelper at 8:25 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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