Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

At what point does breastfeeding become sexual abuse? adult content

First let me state, and many of you know, I am a firm believer in breast feeding and nursed both of my older children as well as plan to nurse my new baby when she gets here. BUT, due to some recent questions and news stories I have been wondering at what point it becomes some kind of perversion?

For me, it's obvious that if a child is under the age where they are discovering their own sexuality it's not abuse, but each of us reach that age differently.
That said there are more and more stories about 12 and 14 year olds who are nursing... So at what point does this go from being what is best for the child and become a perversion? or doesn't it?

If this were your friend or family member nursing an "older child" or "young teen" would it bother you? At what point would you feel a need to step in? Or would you simply believe this was their choice?

Answer Question

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 2:01 AM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (54)
  • I seen on T.V a woman actually brestfeeding her teens. One was one breast and the other one was sucking the other breasr. That just looked weird to me and disturbing. I think at least one or one and a half that's the limit.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 2:05 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Sorry I meant breast

    Answer by mamaofficer at 2:05 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I'm more than comfortable with 2-3 years, because it's been proven that nursing to at least 2 is best for the child. But at 6? 8? 12? Who is getting more out of this? The child - or the parent?

    Comment by SabrinaMBowen (original poster) at 2:06 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I don't think it is a sexual matter at all. Making BF at all/ever gives BF a bad name. I think it is an unhealthy attachment.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:07 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • The parent is getting someting out of it. Those milk stay in your breast that long. I mean by the time the kids reach there teens years.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 2:08 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Domonique- I don't think BFing is a sexual thing either. However, I think there is a point when it goes from being "breastfeeding" to something else... that something else is where the sexual or at least inappropriate behavior comes in...

    Comment by SabrinaMBowen (original poster) at 2:12 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • here's my issue with it - what is the child really getting out of basically snacking a few times a day? Sure, in other countries, that's some poor child's only means of nutrition and that's OK. It's not being done as nutrition here! it's "bonding" or "comforting" or whatever they want to call it. I can have a totally awesome relationship with my child without having to put my breast in their mouths.

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 2:18 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • and BTW I did breastfed until they self weaned at about 7 months each.

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 2:19 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I've been thinking about that lately also, ever since my husband and I have been discussing how long to nurse our new LO. He seems to think it becomes sexual and gross shortly after one year and definetly after eighteen months but I don't know. I do know that it literally disgusts me to see a 5,6,7, or 8 year old on some news clip on TV running up to their mom from playing to BF. I just think it's odd and unhealthy for the childs psychological growth and their need to natrually detach from parents over time. But if you think about it if a mother wasn't breast feeding and she had her children that were that old grabbing her breast not nursing from it but grabbing it she'd be charged with molestation, I can't imagine that those women haven't been encouraging their children to BF all that time. I really don't know but I know for me I'd think of it in a sexual manner after the age of five or so.

    Answer by GigantaursMommy at 2:19 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I personally wouldn't be comfortable with it past age 3. My daughter just quit breast feeding at over age three. For some people that is totally normal, others thought it was obscene. All I know is that she had been doing since the hour she was born and she became accustomed to it to go to sleep. I was ready for her to quit at about age two or two and a half, but she wasn't ready yet so that was fine.

    I know what you mean. It is jarring to see a 5, 6 or 7 year old still on the breast. I really do not think it is nutritionally needed at that point, so why do it? A teenager or preteen should not be breast feeding, in my opinion. The mother should stop it long before it ever gets to that. I don't know why people do that, but I am betting that guilt and routine keep some mothers breast feeding beyond an "appropriate" age more than the cases of doing it for their jollies. At least I hope!

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 2:25 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.