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My husband is from another country and we are living in a third country (neither mine or his), I actually met him while he was in this country and we've been here since we got married.Since it's difficult for him to move to my counrty, I thought we will stay here for a long time before he thinks of moving back to his home country as we have a stable life here, he has a good job, good income, good life for our children, we are used to the place,

know everything and many friends here; however, he recently just told me that he is getting job offers there and he wants to go back. I'm really frustrated, I love it here, and living in his country will be so difficult for me. I didnt wanna sound selfish so I told him we will eventually go but not just yet ''just give me some time to get used to the idea'' and just give a chance to our child who will start in a really good school this year (it wasnt easy to get him a place there).anyway,we argued alot, then he said something I will never forgive him for, he said he regret marrying me!! afterwards, I told him that I cannot be with him after what he said, he told me that I understood it the wrong way and he didnt mean that he regrets marrying me as a person just that I'm not from his country as it would have been easier for me to go, i just dont see that the reason matters, he still has regrets to marry me!! what do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 AM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I think you're both regretting marrying each other (you because you don't want to move with him and him because he can't understand why) So, I would forgive him for what he said, anything said in the middle of an argument is not something to be held against for the rest of his life. But you know... you guys made that choice, you chose to have a child.. and you need to decide where you'd like to live together. That should have been something you talked about before getting married honestly. If you really don't want to move with him to his country, tell him to go alone and that you're happy where you are. There had to be a reason you both left the countries you were born in in the first place.
    MomtoElliett

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 5:25 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I would try to get over what he said....I don't think he ment that he doesn't want to marry you just that he is frustrated about the living arrangements.

    It looks like you haven't ruled it out going back so he needs to be patient and let you get used to the idea. Having time to consider it, maybe check it out to see how you can set your life up there etc.

    I think you both really need to sit down and discuss what you both want and come to a compromise. Seems like living in the country you are now is that compromise though.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:46 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I would tell him. that we(as in you and the kids) will never move back to his country. Because of the way he acted. Sounds to me he is having second thoughts of being with you.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:54 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • It's never OK to hit below the belt when arguing, it creates disrespect for each other. What he said hit below the belt & should not be ignored. If you ignor it, then he will think that you take to those kinds of words lightly & he might continue to hit below the belt when arguing.

    In all honestly, these are things you should have discussed before you got married. You should not have "thought" that you would be staying here just because of a few reasons. You guys should have had a discussion about it before marriage, he should have told you that he would like to go back to his country & you should have told him that you would not like to live in his country BEFORE you tied the knot. Those are important things to get out onto the table when getting married. I would not go if i were you. I would not want to live i his country & not know anyone. I would let him go since he has regrets anyway & i would stay. Good luck!!!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:15 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • If his country isn't a place you and your children could live in and be happy you need to let him know that. There are some countries I would never live in because of the culture, regardless of how much I love my husband. It was wring of him to tell you that he regrets marrying you, I'm sorry that he hurt you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:15 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

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