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how do foster parents do it...I can't seem to get over not being able to see my nephew

My great nephew spent most of his 3 years of life at my home, a month ago his parents decided he was too attached because he would rather come to my house than his grandfathers. Now they will not allow him to call or come see me. It's been a month, I didn't think they would hold out. It's almost like as soon as he could walk talk and go to the bathroom, they didn't need me anymore. Question is how in the world do you get over the hole in your heart. It's like he was stolen, I guess I have no right to feel so close and the loss but they won't even let him call. At this point I don't even know what to do with his stuff, clothes, toys etc. I feel so lost.


Asked by Zippie at 9:11 AM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Adoption

Level 4 (33 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I am so sorry for what you are going through. I myself took in a little boy to help his single mom. It became that I literally raised this boy for a long while, while his mom would come and go. I had no legal rights to him. When she took him back, of course when he was older -it literally broke my heart in pieces!! I loved him as my very own!! Thank God I still get to see him. He visits me on the weekends sometimes. The bond we have is so special. My only advice to you is know God places children in our hearts and in our lives for a reason. Rather that time be short or long, the importance is making a difference ,being there when a child needs you the most, and loving them!! I hope they will allow you to see them because of that special bond. Praying always helps. Hopefully they will realize that you are a major part of his life, as he is yours.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 1:14 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I don't have any new advice, but wanted to say I'm sorry that you are going through this! Praying they will come around and realize this is probably hurting their son as well.

    Answer by musicalbabe85 at 9:33 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I have no advice. I am sorry you are missing him. Is there anyway to get in touch with them just to ask if they will take his stuff...since it is his and he would feel better with the stuff he is used to.

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:24 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • My son died and the hole doesn't go away. It get easier to bear but never goes away. His stuff is now packed away in the attic. I can't get rid of it and it took me forever to actually pack it away. I am so sorry you are going through this. HUGS!

    Answer by ziff130 at 9:26 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I'm so sorry that happened to you. Is it maybe possible you could visit at the grandfather's home when he is there? As far as your nephews things....if you want the child to have them, maybe take or send them to the grandfather's house. If the parents will talk to you, perhaps meeting with them would's possible that they don't understand that kids get attached but that doesn't mean they love others any less, just that they are happy and secure in their surroundings and that is a good thing. Some kids' get really attached to their day-care teachers, but thats not a reason to remove them from that daycare, it's something that should make parents more comfortable leaving the kid there. Sounds like they felt threatened, as if they were losing his love and maybe all they need is to understand that wasn't what was happening.

    Answer by meriana at 9:32 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I am so sorry for what you are going through. Some parents are so SELFISH and they only think about themselves.

    I am a Foster Parent and the hardest part for my Husband and I is when Children leave. We have had 17 children in our home in two years. It has been so hard. We have had to take a little break and adjust. Some of them we still have contact with which really helps. You never really get over the hole in your heart though. We just try to hold onto the good memories.

    Answer by hsmominky at 8:27 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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