Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

is it selfish that i want college?

He says me wanting a college degree is selfish because we dont need the $, he can take care of us. I have most of my school paid for, but not all of it and when I mentioned that we could cover the remainder if I set aside a small amount every pay period he shot it down really fast. I let it go and Im trying to make the money online to pay for it, but now he is getting lippy about me buying school books 4x a year with our regular paycheck. I do not spend money on myself often, I am cheap, he is the spender so I feel like I am going after an investment, not getting mani's and pedi's (which I do want lol) Yet he says I am being selfish because the family does not need it, I just want it. He is in the army btw so yes he can take care of us now...keyword NOW, in 10 years when he retires that retirement pay is not enough for the lifestyle we want.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (21)
  • No you're not being selfish at all.

    Answer by FelipesMom at 9:17 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • its not selfish at all! and so what if it is you deserve to do something for yourself everynow and then.

    Answer by TikkiNippets at 9:17 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • No, its not selfish. Is he a controlling sort of person?

    Answer by kuriequinn at 9:17 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • You need to be a fulfilled person. If you have figured out a way to achieve this then I say go for it. Sit down with him and show him on paper how you feel it can be achieved and let him know this is something you want out of life. I wanted to get an advanced degree years ago and had a specific career in mind. It would have taken me 18 months. My husband said we could not afford it. He was making excellent money at the time and it would have been a little hectic with the kids and all, but very doable. I wish I had sat down with him like I am advising you. We talk about it even today........that I should have been more of an advocate for myself. I wish you all the best

    Answer by elizabr at 9:19 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • No, it's not selfish.

    Answer by andrea96 at 9:20 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I would do what you have to do and so if you just want it why not also having your own degree is an accomplishment he should be proud of you wanting to reach for goals. I would do it . GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:21 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Definitely NOT selfish. I'm in school right now too. My dad was in the airforce and died while in active duty. This left my mom with no degree, no home b/c we lived in base housing, and two girls ages 2 and 8 mos to care for. She had to go back to school and get a degree b/c she could not support us. You never know what might happen in life and yes, it's nice to say that you have a degree but it's also great to be prepared for the unexpected.

    Answer by ziff130 at 9:22 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • It is better for the children to have college educated parents so how could this be selfish?

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:23 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Education is NEVER selfish. HE is the selfish one...and any man who thinks he needs to hold his partner back is one you need to bewary of.

    He probably thinks you'll find someone better than him in college. And ya know? From what y9ou write...he's probably RIGHT.

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:28 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I agree with the PP. What does he think will happen if something happened to him? How will you all get by (comfortably)? Besides, it's not going to hurt for you to have your degree. I want and need to get mine as well. One of the arguments I use: How can I expect my daughter to think going to college is important/necessary when her mom never got a degree? I always have trouble when I start taking classes due to my ADHD, but I want a degree so badly. Good luck to you, and know that you aren't being selfish at all!

    Answer by musicalbabe85 at 9:30 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.