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4 Bumps

can I give out my baby for adoption when the father does not know?

Please let me know if it is possible for me to go through an adoption process with my baby when the father is not aware and also I am 6months pregnant and he does not know.Due to certain circumstances I wish to adopt her.

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sonebridget

Asked by sonebridget at 9:49 AM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Adoption

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • You can name the father as unknown on the birth certificate and give the baby up that way. My FIL did not know about his child until after the adoption was final so he has been searching for his other son for 40 years now. I would consider telling him...depending on the situation. My FIL was in the hospital for months after a bad car accident and couldn't do anything about his situation.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:54 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • With any adoption case in our area, you have to run something in the newspaper for 5 or 7 days to respond to the adoption. If he doesn't adopt, I believe that that the adoption can go through. That is the way we did it when my DH did the adoption of my son and my son's sperm donor was not around. Check it out through an attorney in your area.
    guyandtoni01

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 9:54 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Do you have an adoption agency in mind? They might be able to better answer questions for you. I don't think you can with out both parents consent, but honestly, I really don't know.

    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 9:55 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • No. If he found out then the adoption would be invalid and he could take the child since you would have severed your parental rights in the adoption.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:09 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I tried. Didn't work. I went through an agency, but since I did know who the sperm donor was they wouldn't let me go through it without him knowing and also signing away their rights - even though his name was NOT going on the birth certificate. Any reputable lawyer or agency should at least get in contact with him for you to sign over his rights (I did not have to contact the sperm donor, just give his name, and my counselor got ahold of him, met with him, etc, and I never one had to be there or talk to him - only difference was he did know I was pregnant).
    4time-mom

    Answer by 4time-mom at 11:52 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • There are two famous cases of adoptions occurring without the father's knowledge that ended up with the father finding out and getting their child back. Baby Jessica/Anna Schmidt http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Jessica_case and the Baby Richard case http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Richard_case  Anna Schmidt was 2 when she was legally returned to her father and Richard was 4. There is also a similar case going on right now http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robin-sax/the-battle-for-baby-vanes_b_638486.html . What you are considering is risky for both your child and your child's future adoptive parents and it's illegal.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:36 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Laws vary from state to state. However, not telling the father is an iffy proposition. Some unscrupulous agencies might go along with it, but.....he could pop up later and try to have the adoption stopped or overturned.

    No matter how much you dislike the father, it is better to get this resolved with him now. Otherwise, you might have a huge fight on your hands later. You might think he may not find out, but, chances are that he will. Why risk it?
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:14 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Why are you not telling him? Hiding something and trying to cover up a mistake that was preventable in the first place. Your situation gives women a bad rap and hope nothing but the worst for you!
    NikkiVan1

    Answer by NikkiVan1 at 2:20 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • We had to watch a video in our pre-adoption training about the two cases that OTT mentioned. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see a 3 year old child screaming while he was being pulled away from the only parents he had ever known. The father has rights, too, and he can have the adoption overturned years later if you do not tell him. Please do not do this. It would only hurt your child. You can list him and he may not be interested in custody, or you may be able to show that he is not fit (my DD's birth father was homeless and involved in drugs and crime). Talk to an experienced lawyer who knows about adoption law.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 3:38 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • When we adopted the birthmom TRIED to find the fob, she was unable to find him. We had to advertise the court hearing date in our local newspaper for several weeks. Apparently he could have seen the ad and shown up at the hearing to claim the baby. If he had shown up and wanted the baby we would have had no recourse and would have had to relinquish the baby to him. The court date was apprx. 3 months from the birth date. However, it's been a few years.
    tysooze

    Answer by tysooze at 12:43 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

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