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2 Bumps

A 4yo that tells you NO constantly?

Ive been babysitting a 4yo for a while & he has limited vocab/communication skills (IDK why). He is getting really bad at telling me NO, Stop, Don't.... anytime I tell him anything.
Back away from the TV-"No"... Stop throwing- "no- stop"... Go to the room to play "No i dont wanna play"... Dont take her toy "No my toy!"....
Any toy my kid has he wants. I cant distract him with another toy. and when she does give it to him & go to another toy. He wants that toy.
If my kid(3.5) tries to pretend (im a princes) "NO you girl! No princess".
1yr of him getting in trouble over throwing & he still does it.
He screams if he does not get his way. He will scream for 15min straight sometimes!
IDK what to do. My dd is younger & has never acted this way at all..
I can talk to my dd, have conversations & explain stuff to her.. He cant do that at all.

Answer Question

Asked by MustBNapTime at 11:16 AM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Every time he even looks like is going to say no. Sit him in time out and tell him, "You have to mind and you cannot tell me no." Don't let him get up until 4 minutes is up. Do this every time. He will catch on unless he is behind mentally as well as verbally.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:24 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Has he been checked for Autism? It could be mild but he could still have it. That behavior sounds to me as either a warning flag for mental disability (as he is not learning) or he is spoiled at home and gets his way with everything.

    The local DFCS can give his mom places to go and get free testing.

    Answer by Memigen at 11:28 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I second that. Put him in the corner facing the wall. What does his mom say about this? Obviously she isn't working with him at home!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:30 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I agree...every time "no" flies out of his mouth, its time out for him. If this doesn't help, you may want to talk to the mom...something more could be going on.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 11:34 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • It sounds like he needs to be looked at to me, too. Maybe autism or some other delay.

    Answer by nytefae at 11:38 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • 1. Time Out: He gets 4 minutes. He just SCREAMS in the corner & when i ask him "do you know why you went into the corner" he replies "corner"... He has began saying sorry though so that is new.
    2. Im close to his mom. Ive ask multiple time on CM about talking to her about him & I always get an earful that its not my business & to not say anything. To just wait until he goes to school & they can do what needs to be done then...

    My heart breaks because I am in a very bad spot! I can barely handle watching him, but im afraid to see him go elsewhere. I care for him & its hard to keep my cool.. I dont trust him with a stranger that has not connection with him.. IDK how to talk to my friend about this & All i hear is that I shouldnt its not my place..

    Comment by MustBNapTime (original poster) at 11:48 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Lots of kids scream while in time out. Let him. Tell him: "You are sitting because you told me no." Keep the language simple and direct. You can say "do you know why"...but, don't expect him to answer, answer for him.
    You can talk to mom and inform her you have noticed some things of concern. It may backfire though. So, it's up to you.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:58 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I think it's your business if you are a caregiver. That's sad that the mom doesn't see it that way. All she's doing in the process is hurting her child. I don't have any advice there other than to keep pushing the IS your business if you have a hand in raising him.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 11:58 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Hmm.The repeating words back to you does sound like echolalia,a symptom of autism. My son does that. They know that they need to resond back in a conversation,so they say the last thing you say. His mom should definitely look into that.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:06 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • from what i can tell his mom doesnt notice or in denial... I have not said anything to her...
    I do use the corner, constantly: I tell him "your going in the corner for .... We dont ..... " ---Corner for 4 minutes, he does face the wall---, I then get at eye level with him & say "Do you know why you went into the corner?", "corner?" "you went for throwing, we dont throw. NO THROWING!"...and sometimes Ill try to get him to say "No throwing" ... (My dd if in the room will say "he went to the corner for *** didnt he mommy? He shouldnt do it, he could break something" --if he went to corner for throwing--)

    I feel he should be evaluated, Ive said that from the first week I was with him ..
    Is it for me to talk to her about? ...... What do I say?!!!

    Comment by MustBNapTime (original poster) at 12:20 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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