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2 Bumps

Would you have your tubes tied?

Is it a bad idea to get your tubes tied because the man you have a child with wants to have another baby with you and you do not feel the same way? This is the situation my sister is in. Her boyfriend and the father of her 1 1/2 year old son wants another baby (a girl) with her. They have major issues though. He drinks beers daily, lost his job a couple of months ago for showing up to work drunk and cursing out the boss, he alienates her from our family, is extremely controlling, and treats her and my 13 year old niece like dirt. She can not afford to move out on her own. These are the reasons she does not want to have another child with him. But do you think her having her tubes tied was a drastic move?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Health

Answers (16)
  • I think that she should wait to get her tubes tied. Maybe if he gets his life straightened out, then they will want more children.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 1:08 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Yeah. Well, she had her tubes tied a couple of weeks ago. She says she wants to leave him because of how he treats her and her daughter, but she can't financially right now. But, I don't think she should have had her tubes tied. She was on the shot already...
    libralioness

    Answer by libralioness at 1:11 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I don't think she should get her tubes tied. They have a lot of birth control methods out there. Some of the IUD's last 5yrs so if she change her mind she can go have it remove.
    Cassandre

    Answer by Cassandre at 1:12 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I would get on a good strong birth control and move out even if it meant staying on someones couch for a while. I would tell your sister also think about what her thirteen year old is seeing may have long term repercussions for the daughter seeing your parent treated badly and being treated badly creates hard feelings. I would also sit down and think about what I was doing still having sex with someone like that and why I did not run to make my kid safe? JMO

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:13 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • If she is going to stay with him, then I think getting them tied is a good idea if she plans to continue having sex with him. If she were to refuse to have sex with him until such time as he made a few corrections in his own life, then getting them tied would not be necessary. Every relationship needs to have boundaries which are enforceable. This one would be easy to draw and enforce. All she needs to do is tell him no sex until he stops drinking, gets a job, and starts treating the family correctly. If he really cares about her, he will make those changes. If he doesn't, then she will at least know the truth. To be honest, I would live in a shelter before I would live with a man like this dude, and if she were a member of my family, she could live with me just to get her out of that kind of a mess.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:13 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I think she needs leave her BOYFRIEND! I wouldn't have any more children with someone who treated poorly, has anger management issues, had a drinking problem, and wouldn't MARRY me first!!

    She has PLENTY of options...why can't your sister stay with you until she gets back on her feet?!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:14 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Leave th boyfriend. simple as that.

    As for having a tubal, I would not recommend that to ANYONE, EVER. not after what I have been through. Google 'PTLS"
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:17 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • i think it would be drastic bc for one if she ever gets away from this guy and meets mr right and he wants kids then she wouldnt be able to have them..and to me that would be so depressing...i would just suggest an iud or some form of birthcontrol..best wishes
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 1:22 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Did, at 35 - didn't want any more kids at that age.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 1:30 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • It does seem kinda drastic, What if she leaves him and meets someone else and wants to have a baby with him? But, I guess to make sure she doesn't have anymore kids with him, and she doesn't know when she is going to be able to leave him, then I guess it was a smart move. Permanent, but smart. I guess. lol
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 1:34 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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