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my daughter will not go to anyone but her parents and...

my husbands mom is mad. we went to visit them yesterday and my daughter screams when someone pick her up or even look like they want to pick her. she has only saw her grandparent on 4-5 different occasions. they will not come to visit us and we dont have gas money to visit them frequently. my daughter is not around anyone but mom,dad and brother. is there something i can do to help this? i was really pissed when my husbands mom got mad when she havent came to visit my daughter once and she is 13 mths old.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • No, if they want this to stop happening, then they're going to have to come visit you.

    Answer by lovinangels at 2:14 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • The only way you can avoid this is by exposing them more to other people.

    Answer by older at 2:14 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Yes, why don't they visit you?

    She is one years old you have too teach her to be around other people even if she thinks your in the other room, you don't want her to be clinging on to you guys.

    Also, shame on your mother in law, she has to make the effort also, I would have nicely said don't get mad at me, it not my fault you don't see your grand daughter. :p In maybe a polite way.

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:16 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Have your parents give her gifts & kiss her butt with toys & what not. They don't have to continue spoiling her, but gifts are an easy way to a child's heart. If your parents would come to your house, it would help dramatically. You can all be there & your daughter will learn that her grandparents are cool & safe to be around. Someone needs to explain to her that having a relationship with your grandchild is a dual effort. She shouldn't rely on you to bring her over there at all. If she wants to be around your DD, then she needs to get off her butt & come visit you at your house sometimes. This will also help your DD get used to them in her own safe environment.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:19 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • it's pretty obvious why she doesnt like being picked up...because they are like strangers to her. They feel offended because they are family, but they probably forgot that babies don't have that great of a memory. My son is like that. my in laws dont live very far away at all, but they rarely visit so my son is always shy around them. When he goes to me for comfort they ask "oh you're gonna be a momma's boy?". I bite my tongue every time. I want to say so bad "well maybe if you treated him like family more than an acquaintance more often this wouldnt happen". If you have recent photos of the family, make a picture album for your daughter and look at the photos with her, telling her who is who. The faces might be a little more familiar when she sees them in person. Does the family initiate games or songs with your daughter? That might help her warm up to them better then just handing her off to them.

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:19 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • If they really want her to feel comfortable around them, then they'd make an effort to come see your family once in awhile. If not, they shouldn't be surprised if she acts that way.

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 2:21 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • WOW! i can't believe they won't visit. They sound like my biological parents. They live a half hour from me and came to visit my son once in the last 2 years!!!!! It's unbelievable how self centered some people are. As for the attachment thing..has she ever had a babysitter or in daycare? I'm a stay at home mom but every AM I go to the gym for a 1.5 hours. i drop my son off at the daycare. it is very clean and they are very attentive. I felt because he is home with me that he needed to have some time away. This has really helped with separation anxiety and he isn't in daycare all day.


    Answer by coolchic320 at 2:31 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • yeah i would have to make her use to other people & make the effort & ask them to make the effort as well

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 2:53 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • My daughter is like that around strangers. She warms up to people after been around them for awhile. I agree you need to expose her to people more and the grandparents need to visit more.

    Answer by Cassandre at 3:54 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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