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my daughter will not go to anyone but her your l/o like this?

my husbands mom is mad. we went to visit them yesterday and my daughter screams when someone pick her up or even look like they want to pick her. she has only saw her grandparent on 4-5 different occasions. they will not come to visit us and we dont have gas money to visit them frequently. my daughter is not around anyone but mom,dad and brother. is there something i can do to help this? i was really pissed when my husbands mom got mad when she havent came to visit my daughter once and she is 13 mths old.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • My daughter was like that. In some ways it's good because she doesn't know strangers from people she can trust. It took a long while for my daughter to be accepting of anyone outside the immediate family.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 2:16 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Don't worry, she will eventually outgrow it, especially if you start exposing her to more people. Mine did:)

    Answer by shanlaree at 2:16 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • That's pretty common at that age. I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe get her involved in a playgroup or some playdates or something.

    Answer by ziff130 at 2:17 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • My MIL sometimes acts like she takes things personally- like if my DD doesn't want to hug her or something (she is 22 months). I mean, it isn't like the kid understands yet about hurting people's feelings and I'm not going to make her do something like that. Sometimes kids are just in a mood, or being cranky, and when they are this young there isn't a whole lot you can do about it but I always feel badly that she takes it so personally. Sheesh- the kid doesn't want to hug me sometimes and I am her mother.

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:32 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • my youngest 2 were both like that with my dhs family. They just werent around enought! My mother in law only ever held the youngest 2 once a peice and that was the day they were born!

    Answer by karaa3 at 2:39 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • My 2nd child (ds) was like that until he was about 2 1/2. We let people know that he needed to 'warm up' to people and couldn't be ripped out of our hands. He's almost 6 now and has completely outgrown it.
    My other kids were not like that. It's just the personalities of kids.

    I would suggest telling your MIL to get on the floor and just start playing with you, without your dd. As your dd sees this, she will get comfortable & curious to come over and see what's going on. But tell your MIL to have a little patience. It's completely normal.

    Answer by ARmom at 2:39 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I do think it is common in babies/young children to have a 'stranger danger' of people they do not know very well or are not comfortable with . My youngest was like that with my dad and my mil. He saw both of them fairly often but he would not allow them to hold him and he would not get too close to them. I think my son avoided them because they were loud (they cannot talk in inside quiet voices) and because they would not leave him alone-- they kept trying to force themselves on him and force interaction with him. We did tell them to talk in quiet voices (that helped) and we also told them to back off 'ignore' him and let him come to you. That really helped. Once they stopped pestering him he felt more comfortable and he did eventually go to them on his own. He is 4 now and has a good relationship with both of them.

    Answer by MizLee at 2:55 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • No. Thankfully! I was told my dd was going to cling to me since im a SAHM & breastfed & coslept... .
    Be glad your dd is like that.. When mine was about 6-9mo we where at WalMart & a really old lady was gushing over her & bree did the "hold me" with her hands, the lady opened her arms to her & DD jumped in her arms & was content & shook her head NO when I tried to get her back! It was a bit embarrassing! LOL ...
    Just tell people to sit back & she will come to them.. Kids are curious after they are comfortable. Im sure it would help if she was in her own home.. Shes in a new place with new people around her! If grandma doesnt like that **SSSHHHHEEEEEE** needs to come around more often! My MIL lives an hour away & comes over every weekend to see my dd ever since she was born.. She would even come over on her days off just to get the bonding time in.

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 3:24 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • My kids were like that before they hit 5 y.o Its normal.

    Answer by vbruno at 6:36 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • It is rather strange, don't you think, that by nothing more than the virtue of being related genetically, a small child is expected to have an emotional response to a total stranger?

    I am always concerned when people push kids at strangers (to them) on the basis of status or genetic (or legal) relationship, because kids are naturally wary of people they don't know. It seems to me that undermining that wariness interferes with a child's ability to see the difference between a safe and trusted person and someone who has Status that is Supposed To Make Them Safe (like the priest problem the Catholic church is having --they're 'taken as safe' because of the job they do, which interferes with a child's ability to assess them individually as creepy or not...)

    My kids were never required to be affectionate, particularly physically, with ANYONE. Our mantra was 'it's your body, you decide.'

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:00 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

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