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Anyone know much about protective orders?

My spouse is emotionally, mentally abusive and has threatened distruction of items cutting up the bed, and has broken sentimental items, hid meds, kids glasses, etc..... Everytime I want to go file so that I can get the ball rolling for divorce it seems it is not a good time, as in today I would have but my middle child is at camp and will be home today but not sure when, now I am worried about this evening and if my spouse will try to take off with kids etc... (He would only take the younger two ( 14 and 2) but not sure how a protective order would work, if he were to try to take off with them can you file one that would make him have to bring them back? I don't think he would take them long as he is not a diaper changer but just want some peace of mind.

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MommaB0334

Asked by MommaB0334 at 3:27 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (121 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • If you feel you are in that type of danger, then you need ot get out immediately. There is no such thing as a good time or bad time for these things. I say, when you child gets home from camp, have it set up that you and the kids have some place safe to stay. You will need to prove imminent danger in order to get a PO or TRO. But, seriously, if things are that scary - you shouldn't be waiting for a "good" time to come around. Been there-done that.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 3:29 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Where I live you can have one put in place as well as with a temporary custody order so he can't take the kids, can also set the order so that he couldn't be on your home property. You'll have to check with your laws? I will say one thing if you want to leave him and your leaving your place eventually do that..Otherwise you may loose alot of your personal things..If he wants to be a jerk and most the time they are

    bizima4

    Answer by bizima4 at 3:31 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • A protective order should be filed if you are in fear of your life or your kids lives or your well being so yea if your worried aboout him taking the kids put that in there but once you get the TPO there is absolutley no contact no phone calls no letters no passing messages through other people he will not be alound within so many feet or yards of your house your work the kids schools etc. I have had a couple on other people and had 2 on myself lol really funny story ! but if he does anything that the TPO says he can't he goes to jail strait to jail so yea TPO works one of 2 ways he either has common sense and stays away or he doesn't and he goes to jail (if you report it )
    msh88

    Answer by msh88 at 3:34 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • yeah if you feel the need to file for something & feel threaten then yeah i would do what i can & fast
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 3:34 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I know what I am going to write may seem harsh. If you are in an abusive relationship there is no excuse about 'not a good time'. You and your children are in danger. Run. Run as fast as you can. Grab the children, all of them, go to a local emergency room and tell the staff you are in an abusive relationship and you are in need of protection. They will put you in contact with the local shelter. At the shelter there will be people who know all the local laws on how to protect yourself and your children. If you have time at home, get the children's birth certificates, shot records, and any other documentation you will need to put them in another school. Do not forget your own documents, medications and anything else you think you will need. Put all of the above in a large garbage bag, store it at a safe place, a trusted friend, in the trunk of your car, or even at a local storage place.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 3:35 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • There are tons of people who are willing and able to help you. But you need to help yourself first. If you think you would like your children to treat your future grandchildren this way, then stay. If not, break the cycle and RUN. Good luck. Keep us posted if you can.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 3:36 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Really there is never going to be a perfect time. Call a lawyer if you are unsure what to do, they will direct to the right path.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 3:44 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • First thisng do this right away is get a restraining order against him.. ASAP! that will help you with the custody also. I have a friend who went though some crazy abuse and let me tell you in never gets better...(she is actually somewhere not being disclosed in a womens abuse shelter) get a restraining order and find somewhere safe for you to stay while the court stuff starts.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 3:52 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • stop making excuses for not taking care of this. find some time. the family court can give you information regarding protective orders, and it takes a little while unless there is a situation where you need to call the police and have him arrested. the sooner you get the ball rolling the better. don't wait until it's too late.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:14 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Find an attorney and talk with them. Right now he can probably leave with them and there isn't squat you can do depending on the state laws.
    QuillingDiva

    Answer by QuillingDiva at 4:56 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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