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When a mother asks you why people never invite her over for a second visit, would you tell the truth?

One example....a mother of 3 asked me this. Every time they went as a family to someone's house for dinner, they were never invited back. I know exactly why. Her kids beat the Heck out of each other. Do this wier dying pig squeeal when they're angry, and their sister is following in suit. These are bigger kids. 10ish and under. Not to mention the screw you attitude not only to their parents but other adults. Bounce balls off all the walls. Break things constantly. All the while considering them self and outstanding quality character family. Well, OUCH.... I don't want to tell her why. It's quite obvious.
So....do you duck and dodge the situation? Or do you tell her like it is?

Note: this is just one example.

 
thelowlander

Asked by thelowlander at 4:03 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,349 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • that is very very funny! i actually know people like this. my advice is ... keep your own nose clean! you will only wind up being the bad guy.
    danni214

    Answer by danni214 at 11:40 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I would say, I don't know...maybe it has something to do with how the kids behave..and then I'd change the subject.lol
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:10 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I think you would be doing her a favor to tell her. It may hurt her feelings, but wouldn't you want to know something like this? I know I would! Even if I was embarrassed, I would know what to fix. Although I can't believe with behavior like you described she doesn't know!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:20 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Tell her like it is if she ask. How else are they going to change if they don't know what they're doing wrong..
    Cassandre

    Answer by Cassandre at 4:25 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • It is called "an anon letter in the mail" to explain. I wouldn't even be standing near when she reads it. These are the moms who don't think their kids do anything wrong.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 4:52 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • that's a tough one.... I don't like to hurt peoples feelings, the only time I could probably say that is if I was drunk lol
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 4:07 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I guess it just depends on what your relationship is with her and if you want to remain friends. You could say you have noticed a few things and you are only bringing them up because she asked. Tell her the kids are a too wild and say these things as gently as possible. It may offend her and hurt her feelings..try to give her a few compliments of things she does right and only say a few (the top 3 negatives). Seems you may have missed your chance if she already asked you what the problem is. Very tough situation!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:13 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I am more than relieved to not be friends with her. But I've had other moms ask the same quesions to me. I'm kinda known for being honest I guess.
    These ladies ask in this way "I just don't understand. We'll meet a great couple. Decide to have dinner and get our kids together. After the one dinner, we don't hear from them again. I don't get it. What am I missing?"

    Her kids jumping of the banister, bouncing bballs off the walls, squeealing and beating on each other. ....all in her upperclass social circle....that's not obvious enough? Just really can put me in a position. And I don't want to be hurtful.
    Also have had a lady living with her hubby at her inlaws for years now ask me if she was a mooch. Well, .....That's not fair to put me in that position. Then get mad when I answer honestly.
    thelowlander

    Comment by thelowlander (original poster) at 4:19 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • well yeah that is a tough 1 i wouldnt know what to say to that
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 4:20 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I probably wouldn't even be friends with her to begin with if she talked about how good a parent she is and her kids are awful. But pretending I am  Yes I would tell her since she asked. And if she couldn't handle it, she can hit the door. One of my pet peeves about people is asking me something, and then trying to argue with me about my answer. It's rude to do so and it's my answer, not up for questioning. I even warn some when they ask me something now because I know how they are. And some aren't even worth talking to because they're just looking for support to soothe their conscience.  She may not agree with you if you tell her why. But you need to tell her that if there was no problem at all you would not be finding yourself in this situation over and over. She is the common denominator so she needs to look within for that answer.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 4:52 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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