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Is it normal to feel and act this way??

Ive been married to my husband for 13 years, then I was 18. Before that we were together since I was 16. Now 3 kids later and me being a stay at home mom I feel lonely sometimes. My life revolves around my kids, my youngest is five, my daughter is autistic, my son is hitting his teens. My husband works full time and travels. I dont have any adult friends. I used to joke that my kids are my only friends, now I dont find it too funny. I get really mad at my husband when he hangs out with friends and I hate to act like that cause Im calling him constantly. Any advice would help.

 
carina.g

Asked by carina.g at 6:06 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (78 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It's normal. Maybe you can go to college? I've been going for several years, trying to get into nursing school. But with the pre-reqs, and moving, it hasn't happened yet:( But when I'm not taking classes, I'm really depressed. I haven't made any actual friends in class, but I get out of the house and have adult interaction. And I know I'm making progress, however slow, towards a degree. Doing that may help you.
    Why doesn't your hubby have you along with him sometimes? Why doesn't he have his friends over to your house sometimes, so you aren't left out? I'm sure some of them have kids, right? He's got to know that you need a break, too.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 7:03 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Isolation is a form of torture and you are allowing yourself to be isolated. I understand the challenges having an autistic child will create; however, there are options to get out and about. Find play groups with other autistic children. Find someone who can take care of the kids for at least one night a week so you can have a night out. Even if it's by yourself to go meet new people at an event somewhere. Contact close by churches (or whatever religious organization you side with) and see if they could accomidate you with your children. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You'd be surprised at how much people will do to help another person. It's not putting a hardship on them, doesn't it make you feel better to help someone out? It's like that for most people. Take crafting classes at a craft store. *hugs* Just get out there!
    Cassarah

    Answer by Cassarah at 6:15 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • you need to get yourself some friends!
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:06 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Yes it's normal. I didn't get adult friends until my kids grew up and out of the house
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:07 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • What is it you call him about?? business? or is it something personal, and relationship based. /?

    Does he just want you to feel alone on purpose, or is it better that at times you remain away from him so he has his time and you get breaks , it's healthy to get away time, some space.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 6:08 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I call him to come home or when he's going to be here. Just to have an adult to talk to. He says he needs his break from home and work. I just dont understand how Im different.

    This website has been a lifesaver! It's nice to interact with adults for a while, instead of talking about video games and Buzz Lightyear.
    carina.g

    Comment by carina.g (original poster) at 6:13 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Go join a mommy group or go sign up for a class on something that interests you. Hobby Lobby has different craft classes they offer, your YMCA should have classes going on as well. Is your oldest old enough to watch your younger ones?
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 6:16 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • My oldest is 12, turning 13 in November.
    carina.g

    Comment by carina.g (original poster) at 6:18 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I feel lonely a lot as well. I have a 2yr old, 11 month old, and I am 9 months preggers. My life revolves around my kids and letting them have a good life, but mine is suffering in the meantime. I live somewhere that I dont have many friends around me and barely any family. I wish I could live closer to my family. I wait all day until my df get home just to talk to someone thats not in diapers!
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 6:18 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Yes, i'd say it is normal. I would say join some groups. Get a sitter every once and awhile. Reconnect with old friends. Go to the YMCA use their daycare. Take exercise classes. Get a parttime job. One of the reasons I have refused to be a SAHM is I have to talk to people. It does me good! I am not against SAHMs, they are awesome! I just never had it in me. Also are you involved in the school or kids programs? I always met a lot of people in girl scouts and soccor. Kids field trips introduced me to other moms too.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 6:21 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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