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i feel like i am more in love with him than he is with it just my imagination??

i am totally still like utterly crazily in love with my boyfriend of 4 years. i still get excited when i see him after he gets off work, i still miss him like crazy when he goes to visit friends, if i could i would spend my entire day wrapped in his arms makin out like teenagers. i am crazy over him and the slightest touch from him turns me on. but i dont have that effect on him. hes always tired or sleepy or what not. he says he loves me, but he would rather hang out than spend all his time with me(of course). he would rather lay back and chill at home than be all up on me, i have to initiate almost all kissing, hugging, sex, etc and sometimes he doesnt feel like doing any of it. i dont feel like he even misses me when we're apart, i stayed with my mom last night and i barely got in a few smooches all day today! i dont know what to do and when i talk to him he makes it seem like im expecting too much from out relationship..?


Asked by secondtyme520 at 6:58 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You're going to have to find someone who also needs that affectiuon you need. I use to date a guy that just was not as affectionate as i am. He totally would rather hang out with his friends than with me. We lasted about 2 years until i could not handle the lack of love & affection in our relationship. We had sex, but not often at all. And sometimes when i tried to snuggle with him, he would straight up tell me "not right now, I'm just not in the mood to snuggle".

    Well, I'm like you, I NEED affection. I love it. Luckily, i found a man who wants affection as much as i do. When i snuggle with him, he leans into me like he just wants more. We can't ever keep our hands off of each other, still after 5 years. If you want affection all the time, you're going ot have to find someone who wants it as badly as you do. Not all men like it, but there are some out there who do.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:35 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • your to over bareing! give your man space!

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 7:05 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • crowding him , give his ass some space and he'll come back running up behind you with the

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 7:11 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I disagree that you're on him too much. It seems like he's not there. My husband is tired after work too, he is doing the job of two people, sometimes three but all I have to do is kiss him or touch the right spot and 90% of time he's ready for whatever. I know everyone is different but don't buy into the theory that men should just get to sit down and never have to do anything, or that they like to make all the moves or whatever that tired old line is. Men should put in the effort too. It's like saying he's got you so he doesn't have to do anything now to keep you around.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 7:13 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I agree with most of the others. Maybe you are too clingy for him. Some people just aren't the huggy, kissy kind. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Try that to see what happens.


    Answer by Cindy18 at 7:16 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • im trying but i NEED that affection....i have always been like that, i was like that when we met and he always said that he loved how i was always all over him, it used to make him feel good, im not the kind that can sit in the same room and not touch lol

    Comment by secondtyme520 (original poster) at 7:50 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • You have no choice but to back off. No matter how hard it is you will reap the rewards once you do it. I need much more affection than my hubby. It has taken a long time to learn to let go. I told him a long time ago I need affection. I have to trust him to come to me and give that to me. So I occupy myself with things I enjoy. He'll start to wonder what I am doing, he comes and finds me and gives me a big kiss and hug. It is bliss! It is worth holding back alittle so that love he gives me is genuine and not something he gives out of guilt.

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:54 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • You could also take a long break from him. When i broke up with that affection-less boyfriend, he BEGGED me to come back to him & kept saying how retarded he was for not giving me enough attention. Well, once i make up my mind that's it. I did not take him back, but it could work for you. Let him miss you a bit. It might be hard for you, but it could be rewarding in the end.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:36 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I'm sorta in your same situation, so I wish my advice was more helpful. I've forced myself to back off a bit, sorta in hopes he'll miss all the affection and all that, but also cuz I need to for my own sanity! I assume that if he cared enough he'd do those kinds of things, but since he doesn't he just must not feel the same way I do. Sorry, I'm just being a Debbie Downer lol I assume those kinds of feelings are never your imagination tho.

    Answer by nappeal at 11:47 PM on Aug. 5, 2010