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Do I speak up now? OR say nothing and see how it goes?

My man is gaining TOO much weight. I had an injury not long after our last baby and I gained some weight too. But he always made me feel sexy and always told me how much he loved my body no matter what. Now, I'm mobile again and I've taken off a good 25lbs. It's noticeable and I'm really excited about seeing some results in clothes that I can fit now, that I couldn't fit before. I don't let him know when I work out any more b/c he's been acting a little jealous and being critical of my methods. I'm slimming down, and he's fattening up. Last week he spoke on me not being attracted to him anymore. I changed the subject. He won't work out with me, won't admit he's getting a beer belly; won't realize how much less he's doing around the house, with the boys, the dog, the trash, just refuses to see lazy he's getting! Won't do anything about it! I've hinted around, but I'm starting to lust after other men. What should I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Aug. 5, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I'd tell him that the whole family could get healthier and spend quality family time together even just walking or playing with the kids. I'd make sure he eats healthy. That will help. Tell him it turns you on to see him work out. Keep giving him hints on how hot it would be to get freaky on the treadmill (or whatever)

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:03 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • You should definitely mention it to him, before it turns into something worse than this. Try making healthy foods, and ask him to take walks with you to try and get him some exercise. If he has any close friends, ask him to go to the gym with them or play basketball or something. Don't be too harsh with him since he was kind to you when you gained weight.

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 10:56 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • My hubby and I work out together. We started when my baby was 4 months old. We go at least 4 times a week.

    Answer by JoyandLove at 10:55 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Talk to him.

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:55 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • I would mention it to him

    Answer by Decker at 10:59 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Honey, be honest but any comments need to be wrapped with care, concern, and lots of love. Best of all, men seem to lose weight a whole lot faster than women so you could probably turn him towards high proteins and low carbs, but definitely no fatty foods. Invite him to work out with you so that it becomes something fun for both of you. Good luck!

    Answer by SouthernLady7 at 11:01 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Can I ask if maybe something's going on in his life? Is he happy or seeming like he could be depressed or sad about anything? It kind of sounds like he's having issues of his own about his looks and weight. Try and involve him in little things like working out or cooking healthy dinners; make him more involved w the kids or w things around the house. If something deeper is going on, that needs to be addressed first.

    Answer by nappeal at 11:36 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Maybe he's depressed? Waiting is not the answer though, especially if waiting this long has you thinking about other men. Tell him out of concern for his health, and his interaction with his kids. Care enough to be sure to put it delicately.

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 12:35 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Love the man you love, and he'll find a reason to love himself enough to take care of his body.

    Dismiss him, criticize him, withdraw from him... well, you already can see where that road is leading, eh?

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:29 PM on Aug. 6, 2010