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Does having an unhealthy relationship affecting your parenting?

DH and I have been together for 3 years and married for 1. We have two daughters, 2 years old and 8 months old, and I know that my 2 y/o is going through her terrible 2 stage and I just feeling like I get even more frustrated with her because DH and I have a bad relationship. During the whole year we have been married I have dealt with random females claiming to be pregnant by him, him going out all night long and not coming home, his friends disrespecting me, photos of him and other females popping up on myspace, and the list goes on. Im truly unhappy with him and feel like I take my frustrations from him out on my 2 y/o. I do NOT beat her or abuse her, but I when she misbehaves I act mean towards her. I usually will catch myself but either way I feel awful.

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Princefan6684

Asked by Princefan6684 at 11:34 AM on Oct. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I do believe that that status of your relationship with your significant other affects your relationship with your children. You can try as much as you want, but it does. I know that when my husband is in one of his "moods" (I truly believe him to be bipolar, but he won't do anything about it), I refuse to argue with him in front of our son (even though he is only 8 months old), and I try really hard not to cry in front of him, either. From time to time, though, the words are so harsh & things are so stressful that you just can't mask it, and kids can tell. ((continued))

    heather.huckaby

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 11:52 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • It sounds to me like your husband needs to get his priorities straightened out. I would put my foot down about the staying out all night, pictures with other girls on MySpace, and especially about the random girls claiming to be pregnant with his child. You don't deserve that, girl!

    Remember--- it is always better for a child to have 2 happy parents who live separately, than to have 2 unhappy parents who live together.

    Good luck!!!
    heather.huckaby

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 11:52 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I divorced my first husband because we had a crappy relationship as a Husband and Wife. I didn't want my daughter growing up in that environment and puting herself into that type of relationship. We were setting a crappy example!
    My ex and I are great friends now, we have a healthy relationship, he has a great father-daughter relationship with our daughter
    luvbeinhermom

    Answer by luvbeinhermom at 12:04 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Remember - you are your kids' role model! They watch everything you do
    luvbeinhermom

    Answer by luvbeinhermom at 12:05 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • YOU ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION. IT'S VERY DIFFICULT NOT TO TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR LOVED ONES, AND GOOD JOB FOR CATCHING YOURSELF. JUST TRY TO REMEMBER SHE IS NOT THE PROBLEM. AND REALIZE, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE TREATMENT YOU ARE RECIEVING.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 12:08 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • When you are constantly under that kind of stress and disrespect, you're going to end up snappy with everybody including your children. Regardless of that, you don't need to be with a man that treats you that way.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • WELL HONASTLY I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ON HERE SAY OMG GET OUT!!! TRUST ME IF YOUVE EVER LEFT ANYONE YOU KNOW ITS NOT A WALK IN THE PARK AND ITS NOT EASY!!! BUT I AGREE WITH THE ABOVE POSTS YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS WATCHING EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON... AND IS GOING TO THINK THAT WHAT HER DAD AND YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS NORMAL AND WOULD YOU WANT HER IN A REALATIONSHIP LIKE THAT?? SO I GUESS I WOULD MAKE MY KIDS MY FIRST PRIORITY AND NOT YOUR HUSBAND CAUSE HE IS ONLY MAKING YOU AN OPTION!! I WOULD PUT MY FOOT DOWN AND TELL YOUR HUSBAND THAT
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:34 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE OR YOU WILL LEAVE HIM, IF THAT DOESNT WORK THEN I WOULD TRY TO GET OUT SO YOU CAN BE HAPPY AND BE THE MOMMY THOSE BABIES DESERVE.... IF YOU CANT BRING YOURSELF TO LEAVE HIM THEN MAKE SURE YOU ARE NEVER FIGHTING IN FRONT OF THEM AND THAT WHEN YOU GET TO THE POINT OF TAKING IT OUT ON THE 2 YR OLD DONT YELL AT HER JUST WALK AWAY GO IN YOUR ROOM AND CLOSE THE DOOR AND CRY SCREAM PUNCH THE PILLOW WHATEVER AND THEN GO BACK AND DEAL WITH THE LITTLE GIRL!! I HOPE THIS
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:34 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • if you are that unhappy i would just leave, i think parents with an unhappy marriage/relatioship has a bad effect on kids and both parents parenting ability not saying it makes you a bad parent or anything like that just it does have an effect on your parenting when you are mad at hubby you end up being less patient with the kiddos and such and i know thats how i was when i was with my kids father and thats why i left
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:42 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • oh sure. You are frustrated with your relationship and so you are carrying that emotion with you. So with this stress going on the little things are going to seem horrible. Even though you don't mean to be the way you are toward your kids it is going to happen. Try to figure out a way to fix the problem. Will husband go to counseling? Will you as a couple go? Sit down and talk. Inform him you are not happy. If you can not do these things maybe you can go to counseling so you can be a better parent to your child. Not saying that you are a bad parent. Hopefully you can work this out for the sake of your family.
    jessicamelia83

    Answer by jessicamelia83 at 2:32 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

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