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when do i protect my boyfriend?

ok, backstory: bf and i together 3 years with a 1 yr old. we met working a haunted house in a horror acting troupe. the owners are his long time adopted family and i am the freakshows starlet. yeah, we are the jack and sally of holloween town- the barbie and ken of blood and gore. needless to say, the second him and i got together everyone joked we should get married. we laughed about it. then it turned to, "no seriously, i think you need to marry her." recently it is turning to, "marry her now you stupid boy."

half of me is nodding in agreement but half of me wants people to leave him alone. it is getting out of hand. like, little old ladies smell him out now and demand answers to why he hasn't married the nice girl over there. i feel like it does nothing but discourage him but haunt people aren't compassionate like that. i know theyre trying to defend me but now i don't want defending. how do i tell 100 pple to shut up?

Answer Question
 
spazlilsister

Asked by spazlilsister at 1:27 AM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You to let him know that you are not pressuring him to get married. And tell him to let his family know that when the time is right for both then u will get married.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 1:31 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You really can't make people shut up. You can ask them to stop doing this. But you really can't "make" them. You ask, and then whether they stop or not is purely up to them.

    What you can do, is not let it get to you. Just because someone says something, that doesn't mean you have to listen to them or give creadance to what they are saying.. Same goes for your BF..

    You can't control those people. But your have total control over your reactions/responses to them.

    You and your Jack S, live a happy and healthy freakshow life in your own manner in your own pace.. that's the beauty of love and life.. You don't have to do it any other way, than your's!!!! Finding love in this world is a wonderful thing, don't let others have any influence in that love!!!
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:39 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • it is just such a strain knowing that whenever he leaves our living quarters he has to feel frusterated. heck, i want to get married about as much as people want us married. they feel entitled to our happiness as much as we are seeing as we are "their loveable family like property". so, telling them to stop, they feel as if it is their duity. as if they are educating him- as if he just was ignorant to the fact that you find a good girl, the mother of your child, you should marry her.

    part of me wants to look him in the eye and say, hey babe, give the people what they want already or are you doing this just to be disobediant because I AM NOT PLAYING THAT GAME. and a part of me wants to say, all of those people are so wrong. all i know is that i feel like i am in a tug o war. i don't want to leave the show and i'd never ask them to change their abrasive attitudes for its why i love them so...but COME ON.
    spazlilsister

    Comment by spazlilsister (original poster) at 2:05 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Ahh.. So it sounds as if the strain really isn't coming from outside but from within. The outside is just reinforcing it. You really want to get married, but it's not happening. Others expressing that the marriage would be a good one and should happen, makes you feel like "yeah, see, why isn't it happening..let's just do it".. But you want him to marry you because he wants to , not because of some sense of pressure. But he doesn't really seem to be broaching that subject yet.

    If you want to get married. Not taking into consideration what anyone else (other than Jack of course.....................) says, thinks, or feels about it.. Then you broach the subject of marriage on your behalf, and yours alone. Don't mention what others are saying, or their sentiments. Just yours and yours alone. There's nothing wrong with you addressing the issue directly yourself.. KWIM....
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:04 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I've been married twice now.and if something happened to this one.I wil never get married again.I would just kill them with kindness when they say those things.Make a little light humor of it.Like "when you pay for a wedding in Hawaii,We will do it?"Or say "It will happen someday"
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 4:52 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • How about you point out how absolutely lame it is for all those people to give a ripe crap about YOUR LIFE? That rubbery covering that keeps all your cellulite in is what makes you a completely separate human being from every other human being on the planet. You can love all those people and still state uncategorically that you think the subject they've chosen to hang their hats on is unworthy of their talents.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:59 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I have always found the best way to be direct. I would simply say, it isn't their decision, their choice, and none of their business so butt out. If we ever decide to marry, WE will tell you, you will not tell us!
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 1:31 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • People are never going to shut up. They're always going to run their mouths about something and try to pry into your business somehow!

    You just need to make it clear that you're not marrying someone unless you're ready and neither is he. When the time is right, maybe you two will get married. But not right now and make it known that blabbing on about it all the time isn't going to make it happen anytime soon either!

    A marriage won't work if you're pressured/pushed into it. Good luck and I hope these people will leave you guys alone!
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 1:38 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

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