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Irrational tantrum

A friend of mine's daughter has been throwing a "tantrum" for litterally three days straight. My friend isnt able to care for her other child fully because of it. She called me this morning I was able to hear the whole time she is trying to regain sanity by talking to me her daughter is screaming. She says shes been going on and on like this for the three days. She screams at her mom that she hates her but then turns around and says no she doesnt she loves her. THen it's the mommy hold me and not brother. I told her she should take her in to the DR. and see what they think but she thinks theyll ship her off to the "looney bin". It's been going on for too long and she's at her witts end.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Oct. 5, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • It sounds like she is being jealous about her brother. When my SS throws tantrums I make him sit on his bed sometimes he will kick and scream for awhile but he eventually stops. Does she spend time alone with her daughter, it maybe her wanting attention. Some kids don't care what kind of attention, good or bad as long as they get it. Good Luck.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:43 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • yep - jealousy - I agree - patience is the key - the moms needs to teach her kids about sharing the love and instilling that she loves them both and that a mothers love knows no favorites and is endless - children are smarter than we give them credit for - if she can find a way to get her D to understand with patience - a hug when she is throwing her tantrum, holding hands while communicating or doing other things with the other child - simple things like that speak a thousand words that a child can understand


    Answer by AndreaRUJuiced at 4:53 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • No freak'n way this would be allowed in my house, period. We don't pay any attention to tantrums. We don't spank often but if any of my children told me they hated me and were just saying it to be ugly they'd probably get one, and they'd probably get one after throwing a fit like that after the first 3 hours the first day. Sorry that kind of behavior is just absolutely unacceptable in our house and ALL our kids know it, even our 2 yr old. For tantrums I apply the "nip it in the bud" mentality, if you don't, well you end up like your friend, impo.

    Answer by pwfaith at 11:09 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Tantrums are only done for attention. I put them in their room in their bed or they go in the time-out chair. They know, there is to be no talk, no scream or anything of that nature, or they do get a pop on their hand. We typically don't have a problem with it so they never really get that pop. IMO you can't reason with a toddler like that, not at that moment anyway and I won't. I don't give in. It sounds harsh but they're playing her and winning. Once they calm down, if they want to talk about their feelings, absolutely! 100% we talk! But no while they are acting like that. I do agree with matthewscandi too. Maybe mother and daughter need to do more things "alone" and talk about (or find some good books to read together) about jealousy and why she is feeling this way.

    Answer by pwfaith at 11:09 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • SImilar to the other posts, your daughter is either crying for attention or she is jealous of her brother. One thing you can do to ease her behavior is provide her a fun activity as a way of keeping her busy. You should also talk to both her and her brother about their situations. There could be something more to your daughter than her behavior problems.

    In the meantime, I strongly advise you to check out this website called Nogginpower2. One thing I learned from Nogginpower2 is that they have incredible readings on both Discipline, Making New Friends and Getting a Good Night Sleep. By reading these manuals on Nogginpower2, you can be able to train your child to be more understanding and supportive of her brother as well as being more willing to share and improve her social skills with both her siblings and her peers. I hope this helps. Thank you and good luck.


    Answer by paulacolls19715 at 11:41 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I agree that tamtrums should not be allowed but for it to go on for three days... There could be a physical issue... She may be hurting somewhere... I would take her to the DR and just have her checked out.... most kids get over things quicker than 3 days...

    If the DR says that she is fine then yes she should be disiplined accordingly...

    Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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