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6 Bumps

I am hurt and need some advice. I found evidence that my SO has taken care of himself... adult content

Two days in a row I have found evidence that my husband has taken care of himself instead of being intimate with me. He has been very busy with working a lot and I purposely went to bed early with him last night to see if he would be up for action. He was too tired so I let him sleep. This morning I find he still took care of himself. I really believe if he stopped doing that he would want me more. The bigger problem is: I want sex and he is fine doing it himself. I think its unfair and selfish of him. We can go once a month and I am not happy with that! I have asked a similar Q like this before and women responded that they did not care if their men did that and were happy with their sex lives. I need advice because I not, please help ladies. He is very hard to talk to, gets super defensive!!


Asked by AmyLynn5398 at 8:59 AM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,564 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (34)
  • im sorry this is happening to you why don't you try to get him to have sex with you and if he says he is too tired take care of yourself in front of him. if he tries to join in tell him no he is tired he can take care of him self later. that is something i have done with my ex and it worked.

    Answer by jballentine at 11:08 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Have you ever tried initiating sex in the middle of the night? That works for me DH. I wake him with a HJ and he wakes up and we make love. He's done the same to me. I say let him sleep a few hours,and have an alarm wake you for some loving time!
    If he's still being an ass about that,then it sounds like counseling time.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:02 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Maybe you need to talk to him about it and find out what the problem is. Maybe there is something that can change to rekindle the sexual part of the relationship. changing things up.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:03 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I dont have any advice because My husband is always in the mood for sex. but I gave you a bump I hope someone can help you.

    Answer by TikkiNippets at 9:02 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Wake him up with some stimulation, if he rejects this then you got a bigger problem. Initiate sex yourself, do not take no for an answer,seduce him!

    Answer by older at 9:04 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Men masturbate. It's what they do. It is easy for them and they don't see sex the same way women do. But I would definately talk to him if you are not happy with the amount of sex you have. It is a problem because it is interfering with your relationship. Don't be accusitory when you talk to him. Just matter of fact. Tell him you know he does it but isn't doing it with you first. Tell him you want him and want more sex. See what he says.

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:06 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • If it is effecting your sex life then there is a problem. That's the way I look at it, anyways. The same with porn. As long as it isn't effecting us and our sex then I'm generally fine with it. I don't find evidence, though. I'm not sure what evidence there would be *TO* find so I'm not sure if that is the bigger factor of disrespect here or not. Sorry he's being this way.

    Answer by Pishyah at 9:05 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • cont

    Then, after a time or two of this sort of thing, you could add something more to it - like "how much you would love if he would just touch you here...." while you pleasure him, etc.

    Hopefully, this sort of step by step approach will help you all "get back into practice" as far as having sex regularly goes.

    Also, if that doesn't work, you could try to nicely say to him (not in a sexual environment) that you love him, and you want him, and you miss the fun and intimacy of sex with him, and you were wondering what you could do to interest him in having sex more often? Then - really listen to what he says (no getting mad at him - that could backfire and make it worse) - and see if you all can work on it together. Even if it doesn't help at first, the fact that you were non-judgmental to his answer could also go a long way towards encouraging him to work on it.

    gl to you!!!!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:13 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • hell, why "wait to see" if he wants sex...JUST GET IT GIRL, dang.
    and its not to replace you that he does that....maybe its a stress reliever for him?
    you need to be able to TALK to your S/O or it will never get better

    Answer by mommahall951 at 9:14 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Suggest a quickie Mutual Masturbation. You do him he does you real quick.. He's tired and a masturbation does the 'job' in less than 15 min. where as sex takes 30-1 hour. Give him a break and try offering something that is conducive to going to bed early.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Aug. 6, 2010