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IS it just me or have ppl forgotten....

that in order for a child to have a loving stable home...they need to have a Mommy AND a Daddy in a loving committed relationship? How come so many have overlooked the importance and influence that each sex has on raising a child? I understand that this is not possible in every circumstance...but for the sake of our children's future why would we want to rob them of this? I feel that there is a severe breakdown of marriage and family in general...and it just breaks my heart. Because of this breakdown..ppl seem to find it easy to justify anyone capable of raising a child.


Asked by Heathercurlz at 10:10 AM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (6,219 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • It is because we have gotten into the ME, ME, ME generation!!!! I feel a lot of people are pretty selfish these days and they do not think of anyone but them.

    Answer by lapcounter at 10:27 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Well, that's not always the case. A child doesn't always HAVE to have a mother AND a father in order to have a loving, stable home. I know this because my husband's dad died from cancer when my husband was only 4 years old. Somehow, my MIL provided him with a loving, stable home. Sure, my husband missed the things that he would have experienced with his dad, but he had a great childhood. How she dealt with her husband's death and still took care of her son so well, I have no idea. I can't imagine being in that situation, but she really had no choice. My husband is a great husband and father, a hard worker, and has excellent morals. He will tell you that he always felt loved, and has only fond memories of being a child.

    Yes, I think parents should try to work on their marriage before giving up, and I do think it's often times best for the children to see their parents in a loving, committed relationship. But, it's not vital.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:15 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • so if a wife wants to leave her husband because he beats her, she HAS to stay for her child's sake? Wouldnt it be safest and best for the child's sake and wife's sake to leave him?

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 10:16 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I'll even go a step farther to say that some of the happiest, most well adjusted children I know, were raised by gay couples... So, you make a moot point where gender is concerned.

    ALL that is truly important is love, safety, structure.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:18 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Children do best in situations where they have lots of love and good strong consistent adult role models. However, there are many people who can give that love and attention. A mom and dad can be a wonderful combo, but time and again we have seen that it's not some magical formula (a lot of really screwed up people out there have a married mom and dad.) And we have also seen that love can come from someone besides a mom and/or dad. How many kids have been raised to be great people by a dedicated, loving grandparent or a single parent with a great support system? A lot!! I even know a gay couple who took over caring for one of the guy niece and did an AMAZING job! Heck, I hope to be the kind of parent they were!

    Are you really worried about the children, or are you worried about evidence that challenges your view of reality?

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 10:24 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • It is THAT attitude which held me in a severely abusive relationship for years. It is because of THAT attitude than thousands of abused women stay with their abusers...

    I can not take back time, and replace the years of abuse my children had to witness with happy memories- But I DID prevent it from going any farther, by removing their father from the equation. Know what? They are happier, healthier, mentally and emotionally stable children now.
    Yes, a father is important in a child's life. No denying that. There is also NO KNOWING what you have gotten yourself into, when suddenly, one day you wake up and there is a completely different man wearing your husbands body... and he is dangerous.

    Children learn more from having access to seeing people, any person, in a healthy relationship- than they do from actually living in a standard home scenario.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:17 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Actually studies have shown that children of lesbian couples are better adjusted than their peers in heterosexual 2 parent homes. :)

    It breaks my heart more when I see people who are so short sighted that they can't even comprehend anything outside their own experience. It makes me wonder what they teach their children about anyone who isn't exactly like them. So sad. :(

    Answer by deadheadjen at 10:41 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I think that's a very narrow minded view of life and raising children. What's best for one family isn't always best for others. So, I would have to say it's just you... My children are being raised with both a mom & dad, but if they had to have only one or two moms or two dads, it wouldn't change anything about the love or care they get... Good people come out of all kinds of home environments, Healthy people come out of all forms of household... And guess what, the same can be said of the classical family - there are just as many kids being ignored, abused and unloved as in any other home... Having a mom & a dad doesn't equal healthy or happy kids any more than any other home does.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:29 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Well said, I agree 100% with you. We are beginning to see the reprocussions of this even now.

    Answer by ShelbysHope at 10:15 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • i totally agree w you. my first marriage went sour and i had a child in that marriage and raising him wo his dad made it a hard time for him now that im remarried and he is in a loving and stable home w a awesome stepdad his whole life has changed for the better he is happier more productive and just actually has a chance to be a kid and have a good life. broken homes suck!!!

    Answer by cleo2582 at 10:16 AM on Aug. 6, 2010