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4 Bumps

My sister needs money again? Feel Bad Saying NO.

Ok, long story short, I have a lg. family and I am now a single mom. She has been in the position before her own fault though. She lives with her man, and a roommate. Well this time the roommate jerked her, and she don't have all the rent it was due on the 15th, how can she still not have all the rent when it has been almost a month, I just moved, have lots of bills on my own, and by the time I pay it I will only have a little savings, do I again give her the money, and not have my own little pocket, knowing I might not ever see it again, or do I take care of my business, I feel bad because she will do anything for anyone but her man is a peace of garbage. She knows I got my security back, what can I say to her, because i know she needs the money, honestly I can't afford it. School is coming, I have 4 children.
Confused, upset and pissed.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (21)
  • Don't do it unless you can be guaranteed repayment. I have been in some tough spots and borrowed money from friends/family but they always knew exactly what day I was going to pay and I never missed paying them back.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:53 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • She's going to have to learn to stand on her own and you need to take care of your own family.
    If you give her the money, it causes hardship for you and enables her - not good for anyone.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 10:53 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Don't give it to her. The only way she will every learn a lessen about letting people rip her off and bum off of her (boyfriend and room mate) is if she see's how they treat her when she doesn't have the resources to baby them anymore.

    Maybe this will open her eyes to try harder to do for herself and not so much everyone else.

    Stay strong.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 10:54 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • no she is an adult and she needs to learn to act like one. You have kids to take of and you need to make sure they have and will have what they need. do not give her your savings. Just tell her I just moved and I have a ton of bills....then say.....I was planning on asking you for $50.00 to hold ME over....(I know it's a fib but she needs to stop sponging off others)
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 10:54 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Tell her you can't afford it. ((hugs)) I know it's hard, I have a relative that I always end up feeling like I need to "save" in one way or another. Sometimes you just can't, and if you continue to anyhow, it's not going to show them that they need to change their situation, kwim? Tough love.
    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 10:55 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I agree with justnancyb 100% She's going to have to learn to stand on her own and you need to take care of your own family.
    If you give her the money, it causes hardship for you and enables her - not good for anyone. I have given money to many family & well i thought they were my friends some pay back some don't i have learned the hard way how to say NO...
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 10:58 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You are not responsible for her. You need to make sure that you and your family are taken care of first, if you have "extra" that's one thing, but a small savings isn't extra, IMO. Explain that you just don't have the money to give her.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:00 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • no, you don't pay her.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:29 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Tell her to get a job !!!
    Amberlovesher3

    Answer by Amberlovesher3 at 11:38 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • My sister use to always ask me for money too. One day I just had to tell her no and she never asked again.
    MomMom23

    Answer by MomMom23 at 11:46 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

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