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Leaving my family

Im married and need a break from my husband but he will not leave, I feel that I need to leave because Im no good as a mother to my children. Im mean and yell to much. Am I bad for leaving? Im trying to find a place for all of us but I cant afford it.

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Asked by Sassy_diva at 1:23 PM on Oct. 5, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Before making any decision like this, please do yourself a favor and think long and hard about what you are about to do. To me you sound like any mother who is under stress. We all yell and those who say they don't are probably medicated! If I am understanding your question, you are planning to move away from your kids........not a good move. Your children need their mother, and your leaving will undoubtedly leave them hurt and confused. You are a good mother, you are thinking this would be better for your kids, you don't state that you are doing this for you, it's for your kids because you feel like you aren't being a good mom, right? Get some help, find someone that you can talk to and if possible get some marriage counseling. I will pray for you and I hope that you find your way.

    Answer by hibicent at 1:32 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • If you leave you will TRAUMATIZE your kids forever!! You will also have a hard time getting custody of your kids if you and your husband divorce the judge will consider you leaving as abondonment. Don't do it if at all possible to stay. Go to a hotel for a couple of days and take abreak so that you can think clearly. Let a friend or relative take care of the kids if your husband is being difficult. Go get counseling for your self or see a doctor and maybe he can prescribe an antidepressant to help for a while. I been where you are and it sucks but do what ever you can to keep from hurting your kids.

    Answer by amydh at 3:36 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Why don't you try doing something for yourself. Take a class or go to a gym to get out of the house frequently.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • You are a mother now. That isnt a choice. Your kids dont deserve to be without you. Stop thinking about yourself so much and get some help! Your kids need you.

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 9:19 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I am sorry but I am a strong believer in if you dont take care of yourself then you are no good to anyone, especially your kids.
    On the other hand you sound stressed, I have gone through alot of those yelling periods. I starting taking "time-outs" yes they can be useful to you too. Just let your kids and your husband know ahead of time (when everything is ok) that you will be doing this. It helps alot then you can think to solve whatever problem you have at the moment.
    Anyway that is something that worked for me and now I only have to do it once in a while versus like 10 times a day

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I can sympathize with you... I was very unhappy and my husband would never leave the marital home.. he was never there,, work or at the pub... my children were older.... He physically and mentally abused me,,, i didnt want to involve anyone in our problems... so divorced him and fled the country.... think that was far enough... that was over 3 years ago... it solved the problem temporarily and the only one really affected is me,,, thats fine cos i did it for the sake of the children so they didnt have to go through the daily arguing.. the kids are fine and coped well... in hindsite i think my ex would of preferred i stayed and he left... I said i wanted him to be happy my eyes i did what i did unselfishly..... im the one hurting,,, being away from my family... so my advice is talk it over with him and if u need to have someone with you incase it turns nasty.... running away isnt the answer.......


    Answer by ginac44 at 2:01 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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