Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I've Failed...

SO last q on the anxiety front. The hubby went out last night with buds. Was more himself until he got home. He said he was having another attack. I asked him what triggered it and he blew up on me accusing me of not being supportive and making him repeat himself. He went off on how his condition made him feel like he was wrestling it alone and that medication was not a crutch and he couldnt just shake it off....and a lot more...then he huffed..."what not talking to me anymore?" I told him I didnt know what to say. Im almost 6 months pregnant..and I feel alone. The man I fell in love with is a shell of himself and pretty much broke my heart last night. Am I wrong to want to pack and leave. I feel udderly broken and Im not in the mood for another confrentation.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Jun. 29, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Have you talked to him about the baby? Maybe he's having anxiety over his responsibility to you and a baby. Some men think that responsibility is overwhelming. Some pregnant women panic over wondering if they will be a good mom. Possibly he feels the same way with doubts he'll be a good dad/provider. I'd just ask him out of the clear blue sky to see his reaction to the topic. If he is calm about that subject then the next time try another topic you think might be triggering it. I suffer from anxiety attacks so it won't take long for him to go into one when you mention whatever upsets him. It's like pushing a button. Don't take it personally when he blows up though. Remain calm. Remember this is HIS issue not your's.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:46 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Now is not his time, it's yours. Leave

    Answer by JonahsMom1107 at 6:36 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Sounds like he wants some attention, he's an ass. Leave him or he will make you feel like crap your whole pregnacy and you shouldnt let him take that away from you

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • You haven't failed and it's not your fault when he has an anxiety attack. I know how tough those are to deal with but he's projecting his frustrations onto you and that's not fair;  you have yourself and the baby to think of. If he isn't already doing so your husband may want to find some kind of support group that deals with panic and anxiety. In the meantime, remember that this isn't your fault and try to calmly distance yourself from him if he starts to get particularly upset. He needs to try to become more empowered and not put this off on you...sorry if that sounds harsh, I know it's hard for both of you.

    Answer by Feridust at 7:47 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Seeing that you are pregnant and still with your dh, it is important that you get help for his attacks so you will not become a victim. Being pregnant alone is enough to have your hormones all in disarray but to have someone else yell and scream at you, is harder.

    Seek help for this...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 9:44 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I've struggled with anxiety all of my life, and after my son was born I began to experience panic attacks. They are very scary and cause you to lash out when you feel like you can't control your own bodily responses. He can't stop the panic attacks. They can be triggered by so many different things. I agree that he should join a support group and seek a therapist that specializes in anxiety/panic disorders. Make sure that you are as supportive as possible, but NEVER, never say anything like "Snap out of it," or, "Can't you just worry less?" It has most likely taken him years to develop panic as a coping mechanism and it will take a while to break the habit.

    Answer by jacobsmom707 at 10:53 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • when does he go back to the doctor? could you ask the doctor to discuss it with him since he wont' discuss it with you?
    you are entitled to your feelings. don't feel guilty.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:29 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • His actions are not worth the stress and the risks of you losing your baby. You need to focus on yourself and leave his selfish azz alone and tell him that the only baby that you want in the house is the one your carrying. Sorry to be so blunt but thats just how you need to treat him until he can "Man Up"!

    Answer by Sexymom75 at 12:55 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I went through the same thing. I stayed in for 6 years had two kids thinking it would make things better...leave now so you don't have to share custody. Every time my kids leave me with their daddy I pray constantly that they will come home safely.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Jun. 30, 2008