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What is wrong with me, why can't I make friends?

I have always been shy. I have had a few friend through out school. I have not had a friend since I have been out of school. I lost touch with the few friends I did have. I have met other women especially since having kids. Some are from my dd's playgroup. I just cannot seem to make a real friend. I talk to them when I see them. I am not as shy as I used to be. Once I start talking to someone I feel less shy. I make more of an effort to talk to them. Mostly I talk about my kids. That I know we have in common so it is easy. Also my DH has lots of friends and acquaintances. Some of them have wives or girlfriends. One couple we have went out with kind of double dating. But when it comes to actually being this woman's friend like contacting her on my own or going to visit I hit a roadblock. I don't know how to get past that and I am not sure if she even wants to do anything with me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Oct. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • CONTINUED: It is just hard for me to get past the talking just when I see them. I want to have a friend that I can trust, have fun with and talk to. I am just really lonely. I am an only child too so I have always felt alone and it's always been difficult for me to make friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • What city do you live in?

    Answer by taurus86 at 1:40 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I used to be shy too. I got over it with the mindset "who cares what others think." It was the best thing I did for myself. If they dont like you they can take a hike. Dont pretend to be someone you're not. There are plenty of people out there that will like you, just apply yourself. Make and effort with them. If they dont respond dont follow up on them. There are a lot of genuine people out there that are looking for friends too. Doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you. If you need someone to talk to I am happy to be anyones friends so you can email me. Dont be shy. Most people do not put a second thought into what you will say or do.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 1:44 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • To have a good friend you have to be a good friend.You can start by getting invalid with the P.T.A in your kids school.Church is fun also.Join a health club if you can.I meet wonderful woman doing stride walk.Also volunteering for the American cancer society planning committee for our big relay in June. we always have meeting getting to-gathert rfor coffee its a great thing.Good luck I hope I was helpful.I AM NO t A Cancer survivor .


    Answer by sirrera at 1:59 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • first of all - the best way to make friends is to not post a question anonymously. I'm just saying....

    Answer by bstof4 at 2:10 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I agree with bstof4?

    Answer by Skittles1977 at 2:37 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I have the same problem making friends. I'm kind of shy to begin with but, one I feel comfortable around people I'm alot more out going. My husband's job use to tranfer him alot so the few friends I had would get left behind and I just got tired of getting attached to people then having to move away. So I just stopped trying to make friends and I'm a SAHM so I don't have alot of opportunities to meet new people.

    Answer by amydh at 3:23 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Ok I am interested in all of the replies b/c I have a dd who always feels this way & was an only child too. I know in part that contributed b/c she'd always felt somewhat lonely growing up even though she was surrounded around friends from childhood. But as an adult she's looking for more loyalty & I know for her it's not the quantity more but the quality however she always feels awkward & I always tell her she has to put herself out there and not be afraid if they don't appreciate u for who u are then they are not worth your time. Also, you must learn to treat people @ face value & accept their quirks otherwise truly you are left with no one... everyone has flaws so I hope this helps too. Now, go out there & make some friends. Godspeed~

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Since the beginning of time friends have always been an essential part of life's sweetest journey. It's what makes our life complete. It's sorta like drinking water , without replenishing those vital electrolytes we deprive ourselves of the essentials. It is like the air that we breathe without air you can't live. Friendship to life is like a prerequisite. The happiest moments my life knows are those in which it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters. Strangers are just friends waiting to happen. The bird a nest, the spider a web, woman friendship.
    Friend>Aperson whom one knows,likes, and trusts. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group,cause or movement. A member of the society of friends.

    Answer by Bellafleurs at 4:43 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I know exactly how you feel, I'm just like that. Sure I tried joining the PTA at school, but I also have the opinion of myself that no one wants to hear what I have to say, or I'll say something really stupid. I have a quirky sense of humor and I don't think people "get me". I know this really doesn't answer your question or give you advice on how to deal with it, but I just wanted to you know that you are NOT ALONE. send me a message if you'd like.

    Answer by queenilri at 10:41 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

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