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How do you deal...

when u have an anger management problem and learning to control it isn't helping and you have a baby and a toddler????? And I just feel so guilty because I feel they dont deserve it when i go nuts cuz they give me migraines! I dont abuse them, but sometimes i think i could handle situations better than i did.

Answer Question
 
fefe87

Asked by fefe87 at 3:03 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 16 (2,737 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Leave the room and calm your self down. Go into the bathroom and put cold water on your face. Breathe slowly.
    elly25

    Answer by elly25 at 3:05 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Take a walk, get outside, get away for atleast a moment and take an anger management class. Give yourself a pat on the back for acknowledging the issue!!
    2boyz2pray4

    Answer by 2boyz2pray4 at 3:18 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I am with what everyone else is suggesting.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 4:32 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Think about how your body feels just before you lose it, KWIM? Your heart starts racing, you get dry mouth...whatever your triggers are.

    Once you've identified what it feels like just before you go over the edge make a plan for what you'll do next time you start to have those feelings. Maybe you'll walk out of the room, maybe you'll get a glass of water and drink the whole thing, maybe you'll sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...Think of something that will give you a little intervention.

    When you get angry a chemical gets released in your brain called Cortisol...it's what makes you have rage, and once it's released you have very little control over your actions. Doing a little intervention...getting the anger out of your brain for even a few seconds will slow the release of the Cortisol and allow your brain sometime to think about what to do instead of flying off the handle.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 5:20 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I teach parenting classes for parents who, like you, struggle to handle some situations appropriately. They are referred to us by CPS after an investigation where CPS determined that there was no abuse happening but that the parents needed some extra support. Not child abusers, just regular people who have trouble managing thier anger. It's important because you are your childs biggest influence and chances are if you struggle your child will too and that will only compound the problem.

    If you want some more resources message me and i will be happy to provide. You're not the only parent who has this problem.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 5:25 PM on Aug. 6, 2010


  • sometimes I lose it too, and just feel so guilty afterwards,, I cannot leave the room or go for a walk because I have no one to watch my child but me, and if I leave him and go to another room he will go nuts and start to cry.

    mommy_sam

    Answer by mommy_sam at 6:57 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Therapy? Perhaps medication to help? Leave the room when you feel you are going to lose it.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:41 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

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