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4 Bumps

Is something wrong with me for not being happy for them?

My brother in law who just turned 20..and his gf whos 19 are having a baby! Due Febuary. They broke the news yesterday. They have been together 4 mnths and have broke up twice. She doesnt work and he works min waige for a temp agency. They are thrilled and tried for it! I have known him since he was 12. I cant help or my hub but to be sooo dissapointed. He is so immature..smokes weed, lost his license cause he thinks hes a speed racer, has a broken down car but fixes it sometimes and still speeds around, he lives with his mom and sisters in a 1 bedroom apartment, begs me to co sign for a car, has collections up the ass, and cant manage to pay his cell bill. He told everyone yesterday and seemed so excited and my hub is just si dissapointed. Its not the age thats the factor its that they dont seem to know what there in for, my MIL has severe arthritus and possible cancer and cried her eyes out, and everyone knows this baby is g

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NIKKIANDYBABY

Asked by NIKKIANDYBABY at 3:51 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 7 (153 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Well, I get being unhappy. However, he is family so you can only do one thing: get on board. Sometimes babies change people, sometimes they don't. Sometimes it takes awhile. Sounds like you are a caring responsible family member, and you don't need to do anything except provide CONSTRUCTIVE advice when asked, and love the hell out of that baby. :)
    urkiddingright

    Answer by urkiddingright at 3:55 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Well I think that babies are always blessing but I could see where you would be diappointed. You want nothing but the best for those you love and to not be in a good place in life and bringing a new life into the world is certainly not ideal. Just hold on to the hope that it will turn their lives around. Hopeully it will send them in the right direction and down a new path.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:55 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I would not be happy for them either. This is the beginning of a huge mess for them and it isn't going to get better.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 3:55 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Nothing is wrong with you. I would be feeling the same way. I think if it had been accidental, that would be one thing. But to try for a pregnancy when their relationship was rocky and so new? That, to me, was irresponsible on their part. You have every right to feel disappointed about the news. There is nothing you can do about it, and saying anything negative to them will definitely not help. I mean, it is what it is... but your feelings about it are definitely fair.
    MyFamilyOfFive

    Answer by MyFamilyOfFive at 3:56 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • i see where your comming from but hope that maybe this baby will help them to change there lives for the better, and be there the best you can to help show them how to be good parents and make sure that baby is well taken care of because that is going to be a new family member of yours.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 3:57 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I just told them congradulations if you need anything than andy an I are here for you we have beeen through it twice..We have 2 kids. But have never been in that position. I just cant get excited. Maybe as it sits in but I feel so guilty I feel so dissapointed and not happy at all for the coming of this child.
    NIKKIANDYBABY

    Comment by NIKKIANDYBABY (original poster) at 3:57 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Hopefully the baby will change them. Sometimes that's what it takes.
    PoisonousBlonde

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 4:01 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I understand why you are disappointed. The most disappointing thing is that they tried for a baby. That shows their immaturity. But with that said, it's a fact and now you and the rest of the family need to be supportive and there when they fall and need advice.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 4:02 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • No, I would feel the same way - disappointed for that babies future...
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:08 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • A baby will not change a very immature 20 yr. old.You & your husdand have every right to be concerned.Just be there for the baby & his girlfriend.Because he's not going to be there for them once this baby is born.I hope I'm wrong but he sounds exactly like my nephew.He just went back to prison 2 months after his 2nd son was born.It was also the day he was getting married.Does she have supportive family?I wish you guys all the best.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 4:42 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

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