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Why do kids not listen?

My dd fights me on everything and thinks she knows best. I don't have a career, I have a diploma but she seems to think she knows it all.
Why does she tell me I need to get a job? I am a SAHM and she has little respect for me, she does not do her homework, bearly paassed the sixth grade and does all I ask her not too. She even gets an attitude because I tell her I will not go broke like her Grandmather likes to every pay week to please her.
Should I go back to school and prove her wrong, or stay home as I want and my Husband has asked me to. He likes home cooked meals and a clean house, but my dd is too much at times.
She is 12 and has an attitude with me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (14)
  • You don't need a job to prove yourself to your daughter. She has already bought into the rubbish that is "a woman is worthless unless she has a J-O-B". Of course being a SAHM is a JOB!! I know it is, because I'm one too, but sadly your daughter has been taught, and bought into the idea, that it's not and your worthless if you choose to stay home with your kids, etc. You need to stick to your guns with her and give her consequences for back talk and not respecting your authority.
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 6:33 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Why are you trying to prove her wrong? Why not go back to school to better yourself? You have to be the adult here. Act like the adult.
    lawmom27

    Answer by lawmom27 at 6:35 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You have to earn that respect and knock her down a peg or two. I would not put up with that disrespect. She would be grounded until she had a better attitude. Don't go to work just because she told you too. Don't talk about her grandmother negatively to her. When you just do this you are just bow down to her level and keep the disrespect and fighting going. How does you husband react to her talking to you like that? He needs to have your back! Stand your ground and Stay strong! Good Luck!

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 6:36 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Go to work to prove your 12 year old wrong? No. It sounds like she needs you to be there full time now more than ever, mom. She needs your guidance, wether she acts like she wants it or not.
    She does sound like shes being rude and disrespectful and even hurtful to you.
    If she's not listening to you while youre there, can you imagine if you werent? Oh boy.
    That is a decision you and your husband has made for you to be a stay at home mom. Wether she likes it or not, thats not for her to decide. I wish my 10 year old would say soemthign like that to me. HAHAHA!
    Good Luck ma..and hang in there..really. If all you need to do is vent and get it out..then do that! Take a deep breath , rethink the situation and go back in there with your battle gear on,lol.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 6:36 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Because they think they know everything. They think they know better.
    They're kids.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:14 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Talk this over with your DH and then the two of you sit her down and talk to her. Tell her what you have probably said before, that you are doing what fulfills you......... and you want her to do what fulfills her someday. That everyone should do what they want. If you ever do want to go back to school it will be your decision and will have nothing to do with her.
    Also talk over with your DH if your rules of the house are being followed, you have appropriate requirements of her......chores, etc. And if she is following through on them. If she isn't, make sure you are together on the consequences. Tighten up now before she gets any older.
    And one last idea....make sure you, and DH, still have one on one time with her. Plan some activities that she can not say no to even if it's just getting a manicure,etc.
    I wish your family all the best
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:50 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You want to prove to your daughter you are good enough? Not. You need to lock her in her room with no extras until she learns to toe the line.

    It's all well and good to earn her respect and I sense this question is more about your self worth than how she sees you. Whether or not you have a career or anything else she may think you need, you have the job to prepare her for life. Everywhere in life there are rules and requirements. Her boss isn't going to take the time to earn her respect before he fires her for not following rules. Neither will her college professors, or law enforcement officials or . I am not sure where Gma comes in but if she is causing friction then she needs to be out of the picture for a while too. Be the mom the best way you know how and she can deal or lump it. She will respect you more for standing up to her than if you scramble to do what she wants.
    Liansmommie

    Answer by Liansmommie at 11:06 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Shes a kid,no matter what you do,all kids think they are smarter than mom n dad! Tell her there's also life experiences that teach you things that school has not and wont teach her, because you learn as you go,therefore the saying wisdom with age,lol.You can also point out that she's not trying hard enough herself.Watch the "world's strictest parents" show,it's got great pointers in it.
    TootieFruitie

    Answer by TootieFruitie at 9:48 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Why are you arguing with her? You are her MOTHER! Be her mother and step up to the plate - so to speak - and tell her that if she doesn't straighten up and fly right, you with your SAHM free time will VOLUNTEER in her school in the fall. Take everything but the essentials from her room - nothing but the bed, dresser, enough clothes for a week (YOUR CHOICE), lamp, and alarm clock. They don't NEED anything else in their bedroom. Tell her that respect and work will get things back. She must keep her room clean, her bathroom clean, and do all her homework. And you can work a system out with the school where her teachers will hold her accountable more for NOT turning it in or getting it done. And remember that sometimes a child must FAIL to learn the hard lessons.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:15 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • A few spankings along the line would have been good for her... now it's to late!
    plclemo

    Answer by plclemo at 4:48 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

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