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dh's ex is going too far

DH left his ex almost 3 years ago. The other day sd11 and I had plans and sd called to tell her mom when to pick her up. Suddenly she tells me she should go to her mom's house. I asked why and she tells me with tears in her eyes that her mom tells her she should not like daddy because he hurt the mom. Sd tells me that her mom asks her who she loves more, saying things like "would you rather be with me or him today?" when sd replies that it's daddys day with her, the ex will say "so you do love him more". I told sd I was sorry she is going through this and she says"I'm not going through this my mom is". Sad. I asked her if she wanted to leave because she thought her mom would think sd loves me more? Sd said yes. We do not talk bad about sd's mom in front of her but she talks about us to sd daily, mutual friends, whoever. She has even spread rumors that we use drugs and for a while our reputations were shot. WTF?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • Sounds like your dh needs to have a conversation w/ his ex! In no way is what she's doing appropriate! She needs to shut her mouth before she messes her kids up for life.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 7:06 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • she's a nut, she needs counseling. it's sad that your sd has to do that and go back or forth. i would let her go whenever she wanted that way she doesn't feel even more torn. she will grow to resent mom later, but like you said don't talk bad, those ideas should be left up to her. you will look like the bigger person in the end.

    Answer by angevil53 at 7:38 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • My dh grew up in this type of environment. If he was with his mom his dad treated him badly and made him feel bad for going with her and vice versa. I doubt there is anything you can do to stop the mom from her emotional blackmailing, but her father could get her in therapy. Then maybe from there the mom could be reached. One day her daughter will resent her for this, I hope she grows up and let's the girl have a happy life.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:57 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

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