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is it wrong to NOT attend a funeral?

my step grandfather passed away....and honestly i dont want to go to the dad passed 10 months ago and my xsis in law a few months before that then my bio grandpa before that and my x mil before that......i just am not up to anymore funerals right now....and i want to go to support my step family...but i really dont want to it wrong....they already told me if i dont think i can make it they understand. i am kinda on the fence...i dont want to go but i want to be there for the fam....most of the poeple going i wont know....only my step mom step sis and step bro and two aunts and uncles and one step grand ma...all of which is step family.....i duno what to do what would you do? duno where else to put this ....


Asked by sweetestkitten at 9:11 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,565 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • funerals are for the living, not for the dead. with that in mind. your loved ones know that you loved them. they have passed on. if you cannot handle another funeral right now. so be it. your heart is where it needs to be nothing else matters.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:14 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • That is really personal, you can send condolences in the form of a card or flowers, etc...
    Not everyone is comfortable with funerals and that is ok. I'm sure many people do not attend, even people who want to sometimes cannot due to work, school, travel constraints. It seems that your family is giving you an *out* , I would take it.

    Answer by kerryket at 9:21 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I wouldn't go, unless you know this family REALLY well. I've never even met my step grandpa (mom and stepdad been married 15 years). So maybe I don't know, but I don't think you're obligated.

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 9:14 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I would go if it was my step grandfather. But I totally understand why you don't want to go, sounds like it's been hard on you(u have had to deal w/ a lot of death). Hugs

    Answer by Lynette at 9:15 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • It is difficult to deal with a lot of death, but it's most difficult for the widow. She's the one who can never return to her life following the loss, because her life is not irreversibly altered. It would be nice if you could go to support your grandmother.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 9:20 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • i did go yesterday....and meet with the family and the preacher was there....and i spent a long time over there yesterday afternoon into last night....i just honestly dont want to go to another step mom told me if i dont feel up to coming it is ok....when i lost my dad....10 months ago. i was in my first trimester of prego...and two weeks after i lost my dad i misscarried...but when i lost my dad...i bout lost my mind for a few weeks...i was just in a daze...couldnt eat couldnt sleep..i was a now we are again prego...and are almost 13 weeks....and that is why they are telling me if i dont want to come it is ok..they dont want me to lose the baby over this. but i wasnt really close to my step gp...i did cry but it is nothing like when i lost my dad..there was no holding anyhting back when i lost him....i still cray about once a week or so over my dad and it has been almost a year...i duno

    Comment by sweetestkitten (original poster) at 9:28 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I say skip the funeral, you have been through enough already and they already expressed they understand. Sounds like you are showing your support in other perhaps even more personal ways.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:20 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Since you weren't that close to him I wouldn't go. Everyone expressed their understanding. Put your health and the baby first. I hate funerals I usually go to the church and skip the cemetary.

    Answer by Cassandre at 10:33 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • No, its not wrong go by the family house show some love. They will understand u have been through a lot.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:34 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • If you don't want to go then don't go

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:35 PM on Aug. 6, 2010