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trying hard

My MIL is a very dramatic, over emotional person. I was always able to just ignore it, but ever since I had my baby, it is driving me insane. I can barely stand to be in the same room with her now, because she stresses me out so bad. I have always been a passive person, but am now finding myself snapping at her, and being very short with her. She completely over-reacts to small issues, like if the baby is gassy, she makes a big production about it like its the worst thing that he could possibly have to go through. he had diaper rash and she called me for days about how bad she felt for him and all the things we should do. Even after it had healed! my husband gets mad at me for getting short with her, and I want to get a long with her, but she is driving me insane! These were just a couple examples. How do you deal with stressful people in a possitive way? Taking deep breaths isn't enought anymore.

 
GingerMom33

Asked by GingerMom33 at 11:06 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,742 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Wow! I would hate to answer the phone when she called. As a matter of fact, why don't you let your dh answer her calls for a while. At least until your hormones settle down. How I would handle her, if you have to talk to her, is say that you consulted your ped and that you are doing what is best for your child. And if she persists just tell her "well, thanks for your input but we are handling it". Then any further comments should be met with I've got to care for the baby (if on the phone) and if in person just offer her a drink or snack and leave to the kitchen. Some people just don't know when to stop.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:04 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • well if you could help it i would try spending less time with her, and sure she can come over and visit baby, but maybe make an excuse so you can go and leave hubby with her and baby.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 11:07 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Positive is impossible for me in this situation. I would sit her down and tell her that you dont give a damn about what she has to say, and to keep her opinions to herself.
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 11:08 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I tried to talk to her about it nicely and she cried and threw a fit. I wound up feeling like a horrible person. I understand she is trying to help, but I need some space. My husband doesn't get it. Its just too much stress for me to have every little thing be made into a big deal! HELP!
    GingerMom33

    Comment by GingerMom33 (original poster) at 11:09 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I was thinking about spending less time. I just need to find ways to make it look like I'm busy and not blowing her off, because she's so damned emotional!
    GingerMom33

    Comment by GingerMom33 (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • If the baby is very new and this is the first grandchild then this goes with the over active hormones and a new Grandma that 'knows everything' and things were not done that way back in the day. I would ask your husband to calmly sit down with his Mom and tell her that he knows you are doing everything correctly, but to please only come to your home if you are going to stay positive and come to enjoy your grandchild. I know it is hard to ignore her, and even harder when your husband, her son does not speak up for you, his wife. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 11:15 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Thank you!
    GingerMom33

    Comment by GingerMom33 (original poster) at 11:17 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • She needs to remember that you are his mother and she isn't. If she wants to give you advice, that's one thing. But trying to be nosy is a whole different level. You need to get your husband to talk to her and tell her simply, to back off. There is just some things people can go crazy about and they just don't realize it. There are just some things you need to find out for yourself.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:15 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

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