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FIL is a lonley man and often immature in how he handles things.

He did something out of spite because he was mad at dh, dh did not take too kindly to it and said some things that he probably shouldn't have (I don't know what exactly). His dad has called his sister to I guess cry on her shoulder rather than talk things out with dh. I get a msg from her asking for a call back to see if we had a nice time at their bbq a few days earlier. So I return the call only to get bombarded with her opinions. She tells me that she can't believe what dh said (must have had the msg played for her) and that he should go to church and ask forgiveness(we're christian not catholic) and he should be ashamed because of all that fil has done for us. I was mortified to find out that he has told her personal things that we just assumed were not to be talked about with others and she recommended that me and dh go for counselling, personal and financial, WHAT?! cont,

 
AmandaH321

Asked by AmandaH321 at 11:11 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It sounds like he is lonely and craving attention. I know we all say things sometimes without thinking. Your FIL could be exaggerating to her about the situation. My FIL is the same way. I know he does and I also know that he lies to me and his son about things. He's played dumb with me on several occasions. But as far as your personal stuff, don't tell anyone about those things. If he talks about it, he doesn't need to know everything. Just limit the info that you give out.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:10 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • 1. You need to not tell your FIL any other personal details because it's clear he can't keep his mouth shut. Do not call his sister back because it is not her business to be in. You don't owe her a explanation of any kind. Some people like drama and feed off of it. Don't let them suck you in. If you allow the two people to work it out that is the best way to go. When outside parties butt in, it makes a big problem even bigger. I hope they can work it out. But sometimes people do have to walk away if it gets to that point. I hope it doesn't for your family.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 11:57 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I would tell that bitch to mind her business and then I would confront the FIL and tell his ass off too. I wouldnt trust him further and stop talking to both of them until they grow up.
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 11:13 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You should probably find out what your husband said.
    tryin2BGOOD

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 11:16 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • She was bringing up things from years ago. So basically I told her that it wasen't her business, or mine for that matter, it was for the guys to work out not to become a big family issue. This family seems to disown people, I don't care to cut off relationships with these people they are family but don't want my affairs to be everyone else's and if fil is so eager to share our secrets then what??? Of my fil's 5 other siblings 3 were disowned and one is now back in.
    Anyways this aunt wants me to have dh call her so she can clarify things for him. Why is this her business? Sure if he called her to vent fine, I've listened to him rant about her when he's upset with something she's done. Let me tell you I'd be embarassed even more if she knew the things he's told me about her and her dh and their finances.
    So how would you handle a lonley fil who spills the beans when he's mad, behaves immaturely and reacts out of spite?
    AmandaH321

    Comment by AmandaH321 (original poster) at 11:19 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I know the jist of what he said, he dropped the Fbomb, which I don't like and said something about his dad being alone if he was going to continue acting childish.
    I would never cut a grandparent out of my childrens lives unless they posed a danger to them.
    I told dh that he should have calmed down before confronting his dad and that leaving a msg probably wasen't the best idea.
    But this is going to cause other issues in the family as they all like to pick sides and jump on the band wagon.
    And we have another issue that we may be facing which is another story entirely.
    AmandaH321

    Comment by AmandaH321 (original poster) at 11:23 PM on Aug. 6, 2010