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5 Bumps

HELP ME!!!!!!

ok im 23 and my bf is 24 we have 2 kids together and 1 due in a week he still has sleep overs with his buddy and hardly helps with the kids expects me to spend a lot of time with him while he dont spend as much time with me we have been together 7 long years and he made a change once our 2nd son was born what do i do im tired of being last and his fat F###K of a friend comeing 1st b4 me and the kids he takes care of them but not spending enough time with them i understand he works nighhts but on his days off he leaves to his buddys house

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • He sounds immature. However you new how he was and yet you have stayed with him all these years, and continued to have babies with him. You fell in love with him for some reason. Try telling him how you feel. My man didn't grow up until he he turned 31, he has small lapses now and then! Good Luck to you! Follow your heart.
    queen.bee

    Answer by queen.bee at 11:26 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Have you tired to talk to him and tell him how you feel?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:26 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Just tell him that you need him to be there for you more. You really can't force him to change. So if you feel he is not trying hard enough you have a decision on your part to make. Are you willing to leave him if things don't change? Sometimes people act that way because they don't care, because we allow them to, or both. Take a stand and stick to your guns.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 11:27 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Have you told him you want more time with him? Maybe he uses his friend as an escape from the things bothering him
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:27 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You are too young to have an adult child in addition to the almost three you have. Tell him how you feel calmly. If he's not as into the family scene as you, then you may need to reassess your priorities. Its also possible he just needs to be reined in and will take as much freedom as you let him, but stand up if you make it clear its not just what you want but what you NEED in order to have a relationship with you.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 11:49 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I wish that I could help you, but nobody can. You have a guy who has all the freedom and you are the one who shoulders all the responsibility. You are the only one who can change that, but you will have to draw some very tight boundaries and then you will have to enforce them. He's still living the single life and you are the one who is taking care of everything and everyone else. Time to draw a line in the sand and make there to be some consequences for his actions.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:51 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I would say, after you have your baby, ditch him w the kids all the time, hang out with your friends and just leave him with the kids. He'll get the point. Actually you can start doing it now~
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:59 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I'm guessing he figures since he's just a bf he doesn't have to do anything. He's made no commitment to be there for you. I'm not bashing, I'm just saying he probably sees no reason to do what you want him to do. What are the consequences of his bad behavior? Will you leave him? Probably not bc I'm guessing you are dependent on him which means he's in total control of you and he can do what he pleases and you can't do anything to stop him. I' m not trying to be mean but you need to get your act together and learn to be independent or accept this way of life bc he's not going to change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I agree with queenbee.He sounds immature & you have been with your man for a long time.A relationship is hard work.And if you have become dependent on him,start doing something that will change that.For me,it was going back to school.At 50 yrs. old.Try helping him work on himself.But you never try to change who you fell in love with.None of us are perfect.& there is something about him that has kept you with him for this long.Females mature quicker than males do.You and him are going to make it.We've been together for 13 years.And there were times that I wanted to say "F*** this.But I stayed.Things always have a way of working out.Good luck sweetie.Here's a hug for you. : )
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 8:11 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I would talk to him about it then if that doesnt work I would leave but that is just me.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 5:28 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

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