Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

10 Bumps

Is it me just grieving or do I have a right to feel upset over this ?

My 23 year old son was recently killed in a car accident. He was engaged to a girl who well no one liked. If you could picture a stripper druggie with mental problems...well that would be a step up from her. My son came to his senses and tried to break it off with her before but she would claim to be pregnant and then suddenly "lose the baby" .. she would "change" for awhile but her true self would come out again .......

She constantly plays the victim to anyone who will listen about how destroyed she is without my son ( but it doesnt stop her from partying) and even told me that she had more right to plan his funeral then I did ( but of course that I should still pay for it)... and now 3 months after his death she is now pregnant ( she doesnt know by who and is proud of that !) and wants to name the baby after my son ( first middle and last) . I am furious that she is doing this ......

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Aug. 6, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (19)
  • She seems very immature and I would hope that she included his name. For goodness sake she loved him, but doesn't even know who got her pregnant.;;; That is sad I am very sorry for your loss

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:34 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • Wow this really stinks, I'm sorry for you. I think you have every right to be upset if it's how you say it is. Unfortunately you can't really do anything about what she names this child. I wonder though if you can do something about the last name?

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:34 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • It sounds like you are well within your right to be angry. I am sorry for your loss and the drama you have to put up with on top of the grief.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:34 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I'm sorry mama, I would be mad too. I wish there was a way to stop her from doing the name thing but there isn't You have a right to be upset. I hope that she changes her mind about the naming thing. Why don't use just cut of ties with her and stop talking to her to avoid anymore drama.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:34 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I think that you are well within your rights as far as being angry goes. I am so sorry that she is doing this. I am sure that it feels to you like she is still hurting your Son. I cannot imagine how you feel right now. I am so sorry.

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:35 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I am very sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers. With that said, I would kick this girl to the curb. You will grieve for your son, and you just don't need anyone who just wants sympathy because she lost her boyfriend. If she is pregnant with your son's child, AFTER the DNA test to prove it really is your Grandchild, then I would try to have a good relationship with your new Grandchild. If this girl is just scamming you for sympathy and guilt you into taking care of her and the baby. Proceed with caution, and do what you feel right to do that is known as that "Gut Instincts"  Good luck and G-d Bless you for your loss. 


    Answer by Joeygoat at 11:37 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • wow, that's really wrong on her part. idk if she can legally give the baby his last name.... you might want to ask around about that. i would not talk to her at all anymore and try to forget about her. so sorry to hear about your son though

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 11:38 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • I think you both need to find your way through. She may not be a good person, but both of you loved your son.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:41 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You have every right to feel the way you do. Maybe you should cut her out of your life. It sounds like he loved your son, in her own way, and that she has a lot of problems. However, they aren't your problems. If the baby isn't your grandchild, I would cut her out of your life. You are going through a terrible loss, and don't need the extra stress. I am so incredibly sorry fpr you loss. Hang in there.

    Answer by GingerMom33 at 11:46 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • You should be upset because what she is doing seems spiteful. She likely knows you did not care for you, so she tries to rub it in by saying she's going to name the baby that is not even your sons after your son? That is low.


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 11:46 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.