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How can i effectivly disipline my 3 year old?

My daughter is so bad for me. I mean shes a good child but she will not listen to me at all. She talks back, says bad things and generally wont do anything i ask her to do. Shes only 3 1/2. I try time outs, taking toys away, talking to her about what she did wrong- She just cries so loud when i try to talk to her like a big girl. Im getting so frustrated i need advice ladies this is my first child and im a young mom im 23 and shes 3.

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Asked by youngmomma021 at 1:17 AM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 5 (74 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Two methods I like are 1 - 2 - 3 Magic but I think as they grow older it stops working and that's when Love and Logic is superior IMO. Supposedly you can start Love and Logic on toddlers but I only found success with my older children with it. Both methods have videos and books and Love and Logic has multi week courses and lectures that tour. I took the course with my husband.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 1:20 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • My mother used to stand us in the corner... not sit us. Try that. And do it for 1 minute longer than half their age.... eg. 4 / 2 = 2 +1 = 3 minutes.

    Answer by gnovinger at 1:22 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Thanks

    Comment by youngmomma021 (original poster) at 1:22 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Is she around other children/people that talk back and say bad things? If so, I'd talk to her about how that's not very nice and you are sad when she talks like that. Some how she's seen and is imitating bad behavior so you have to show her the proper way to behave in those situations. My son started saying curse words. He learned them from me so I had to ask him to help me stop and we'd stop saying bad words together and we did. Show her what you want her to do and don't ask. Make it a game like picking up toys is fun. When she does what you don't like get down at her level and show her & tell her it makes you sad when she does that. See if that helps. It helped with my son and youngest daughter. My oldest daughter just laughed at me! lol Kids!

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:25 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Supernanny has some good tips too. I have heard from my therapist you can do their age plus one minute and as they get older up to double their age.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 1:25 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • the corner did not work for my 3 year old DD. What did work was SuperNanny's trick of an X on the floor facing a wall. I also make her put her forehead on the wall or she'll keep trying to turn and look at things. She has to stand there quietly, no screaming. I only count time that is quiet. 4 minutes, set on the kitchen timer right beside the spot she stands.

    SuperNanny's tip of getting at their level has worked wonders for me too! No standing up, talking down to them, kneel or sit so that you are eye to eye. I occasionally have to turn her head to make her look at me.

    SuperNanny has some great advice!

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 1:32 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I would pop her butt for talking back to me. Thats not acceptable to me, but thats me.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 11:08 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • consistency, for whatever method you use, if you stay the course and keep things in such a way that you child knows what to expect, eventually it will work....

    Answer by c.love49 at 10:14 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • C.Love49 is right, consistency is key. Being consistent is not easy but the harder you work at it, the more natural it becomes and therefore the easier it becomes so stick with it.
    You should also try to catch her doing good and praise her for it. Trust me, as a teacher and mom to 3.5 year old twins, this really works. Specific praise works best. When she's playing nicely, praise her for it "sweetheart, you're playing so nicely with your dolls", when she helps you do something "thank you for helping me pick up the toys sweetie", praise her for it, and when she does what you ask,praise her for it "good listening sweetheart".
    Hang in there!

    Answer by twinclubmom at 9:01 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

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