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VENTING/ HURTING MORE THEN A QUESTION

As most women I have always dreamed of falling in love, getting married, and having children, I did do those things expect for marriage, I always wanted to get married as a child i would day dream of my wedding day, but I don't think marriage is no longer in my cards. As a child I was sexually abused by my dad and it's still something that I try to avoid even giving it a little bit of thought as it makes me start to panic, as a teenager I met and fell in love with someone who I spent a good eights yrs of my life with and when I became pregnant he left, but the dream of true love and marriage still remained and I thought I would meet a good man who would love me and my beautiful little girl and two and a half yrs later I did meet someone who I thought was a good guy and after 5 yrs and two kids were done, And all I got from this past relationship was insults, lack of affection, and being left alone, and for that I give on love

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I'm sorry :-( I, too, was sexually abused as a child (as well as other abuse). I know how hard that can be. Also, my mom was abused (by the same person - her father, my grandfather. She was convinced that the reason he sexually abused her was she was a bad person, and we, "her girls" weren't bad people, so we were safe...).

    She didn't get help for yrs, and because of that, subconsciously she kept picking guys that treated her bad, abused her, wasn't there for her when they should have been, etc... It wasn't until after she got therapy and make peace with her past and move beyond it that she was able to find someone who loved her and treated her better.

    I thank God for the counseling and help I got after yrs of abuse - it's hard, but it DOES help. Thankfully, that's allowed me to find and be married (for 18 yrs now) to a great guy.

    I'm hoping the same for you - that you can get some help, happiness, and love! HUGS!!!!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:00 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • You need to find a good counselor who you can talk to for a long time about all of your past issues. Only when you love yourself for who you are will you find a healthy love. Good luck on your journey & get the help you need.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:15 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I agree that counseling is the way to go. I was sexually abused by 2 men and emotionally torchured by those I trusted most growing up. It is always difficult to love when you have suffered as a child like that. But a good counselor can help you move forward. I know that one thing I had to overcome is the illusion I'd created in my mind of love. As a child I dreamed of someone who'd come into my life and be my everything. I was a shell waiting to be filled. I had to learn that real love isn't about someone fulfilling your everything but it is about 2 individuals loving and caring for each other. Love is not perfect and you will be let down sometimes. (Let down not meaning abused though) You are a strong brave women for allowing yourself to love. Now love yourself by seeing someone to help you.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:39 AM on Aug. 7, 2010