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2 Bumps

Answer honestly.

My Dh is military. I have a less than half of my degree. We're living overseas and have one child. I dropped out of college to move with him. He wants to leave the military to pursue his college degree. The job market sucks right now, so I wish he would wait. He says I'm holding him back.
My worry is that he'll not get a job in his degree field and I'll have to work to support us full time, and won't be able to finish college ever. I would like to become a doctor. My GPA in college was a 3.5. I dropped out to follow him over here because he hated living apart. We had our Dd after moving here.
What would you do? Have your Dh leave the military because he doesn't like it (btw, this is his first job) and hope he got a job in his degree field? Or would you have him stay in so that he could definitely support you through college? I told him after I get my degree, I could care less if he ever works again, I'll be making plenty.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:52 AM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • If he has IT experience, he should be able to earn more than $20,000 a year, even as much as double that, depending on what his experience is in. How far along with your degree were you? A good friend of mine is in medical school and she's 30 and still has years to go. Honestly, I would say, let your husband pursue his degree. If he's taking up a 4 year degree he'll be finished quickly and the job market may have improved by that time. Besides, don't GIs get tuttion assistance. Meanwhile, see if you can get into the same university and take as many online courses as you can so that when his degree is done, you can go back to school FT.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 1:51 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Its time for the 2 of you to sit down & discuss what's best for your family. Why does he want out? Does he have to resign to stay? I understand him not wanting to make it a career but how much longer does he have before he can get out? If its just a matter of he doesn't like it then its time for him to suck it up & make some sacrifices for the long term betterment of the family. Make a 5 & a 10 yr plan together & talk about what has to happen now for those plans to become reality. I think it also depends on how much longer you have for your degree, some dr degrees take 10+ yrs to finish & the amount you'll owe in student loans cancels out your take home pay. Do you need to take a fresh look @ the degree you want & make sure its going to really financially benefit your family? Time for both of you to be unselfish & look to see what's best for you as a unit & not what works for the individual.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:01 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Some more information: I am working as well, we're trying to save up to build a house someday. I don't mind working part time while in college (i held my grades while working every week in college before). I just don't think I'd be able to get my degree working full time.
    Also, he does have a lot of experince in IT, so he'd be able to get at least a $20,000 a year job right out of the military, more depending on where we lived.

    I'm just worried that he'll end up not working, or more unhappy out of the military. Right now we're pretty much set, free healthcare, tuition for our children if he stays in, and retirement at age 40 for him.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:55 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I would try to talk him into staying in while you pursue your degree. What about it doesn't he like? What is his degree in? It's more stable right now to stay put. JMO.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 8:00 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I am a mlitary vet married to a military man. first off, if he wants a c ollege degree then he shoudl stay in! He can get TA and not touch his GI BILL at all, TA=they pay all of his tuition after his commander signatures a page from the university. all bases have an education center with multiple reps from different schools, he can do online school with a lot of different choices, most schools take military TA, or he can do in person classes at the education center on post with the schools that are represented. this also gives him promotion points to get a higher rank. if he gets out, he has to use his gi bill up. by all intensive purposes if he stays in and does coolege that way, he can sign his gi bill over to you and you both get free college. if he gets out, being a veteran does you no good , i know that personally. ppl say thanks for your service but thats it. he wont get a good job. CONT

    Answer by moki1984 at 8:03 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • CONT. if he's winto it, he can get the mcsa, mcse etc etc . certifications through his education center with TA paying for tuition book etc. hell my husband is doing that right now and they also gave him a free ipod touch (wish my college did that lol) he can get a computer degree etc. all paid for...and still have the gi bill as either giving it to you or saving for kids down the line...or keeping it to pursue a grduate degree when he does get out, who knows. just being good at IT is not enough in this economy and 20,000 annual is not good pay when you take all bills,costs etc. into account. anything 25,000 and under is considered just above poor according to economists, unless yourmilitary since you get housing , free electricity, water etc etc etc....... in this economy to get out without a guarantee, ive seen a lot of military do it, he wants to get out cause it does suck sometimes.he needs to man up to it

    Answer by moki1984 at 8:07 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • You'll need 2+ years of undergraduate, plus med school, plus internship, plus specialization before he can quit a job he hates? That's an awfully long time. And most people don't work in the field in which they majored as undergrads, but that's generally NOT a problem. I think you need to find another solution.

    Answer by SWasson at 8:08 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • btw...tuition for the kids? mlitary kids do not get tuition just because they are military kids. the active duty parent has to sign over his gi bill etc. to the children for them to get that. their are scholarships etc. that go towards military kids and grants, but those are not guaranteed , they get awarded . the only guaranteed tuition help is if the service member dies in combat.. my husband has been in lil over 10 years, i was in for a couple years but i didnt reup when my time came so i could be with the lil one and we wouldnt both deploy at the same time., im in college, he's in school as well, he's doing IT stuff, i do psychology stuff now. so i know the military stuff and the school side of it. if he gets out, he will regret it down the line. get out when he has a degree or certifications, dont need a degree for IT really, get those certs,have your degree done,have savings,then get out

    Answer by moki1984 at 8:12 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • what is his MOS?

    Answer by moki1984 at 8:17 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • im not hating on your hubby. i have been there...the mlitary is going to be downsizing shortly wit numbers in iraq being taken down and full pullout within a year . people who previously got away with crap will be getting booted instead of slaps o nthe hand, recruiters will not be pushed for the same numbers, ppl forced to retire (yes after so many years if they are at retirment stage but staying in longer cause they want more rank or just want to stay, the military can say nope, your retiring) at this point, lots of vets are going to be in the civilian world, many of them armed with degrees, many of them not, if he goes out their no degree in hand trying to compete for a good career in this economy with more people getting out of the military around the same time. bad idea.

    Answer by moki1984 at 8:22 AM on Aug. 7, 2010