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My 15 year old daughter has a 17 year old boyfriend. He's very sweet, just older.. Should I allow it?

The boyfriend is a very nice boy. I have met him many times and I do like him. His age, though, is a little difficult. He's almost 18. I just don't know whether or not to allow it. I don't think the relationship is dangerous. The age difference just confuses me. SHOULD I ALLOW IT?!

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love_byrd

Asked by love_byrd at 4:30 PM on Oct. 5, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • i would. if you trust them i would let it happen. you said hes a nice boy you lucky she isnt going for a disrespectful person.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I would and have allowed it. It becomes a little dicey in some states after he turns 18 and before she turns 16. If that time comes and they are still together have a very open frank talk with both of them about the consequences of choices during that time. Jail is not a fun place to be and it is a very real threat depending on where you live.
    Disallowing her to see him will only push her to want him more. Most I know and have heard about do anything..including lying and sneaking around just to be with him. Just set some ground rules, stick to them and trust until they give you reason not to trust.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:36 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • My mom allowed it when I was sixteen and in love with a nineteen year old. He was only a year older than me in school though (he moved around a lot when he was a kid).

    I agree with the previous poster...if you don't let her see him, she'll just want to see him more. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest =]
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 4:39 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I agree with the others if he is a nice kid and treats her good then let them see each other,if you dont she will just find ways to see him without your permission.
    geenabelle

    Answer by geenabelle at 4:43 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • If you don't mind them together, but are a little worried about some situations; just keep them partially supervised. Don't let them go out with just friends; have him over to your place and keep the bedroom door open. Invite him for dinner and family movie night. When I was 16, I dated a 19 year old, but my mom made sure I was home by 10pm, and we either went out in public or stayed home with my family. I'm grateful... he dumped me for someone else after a few months, someone he could be alone with. At 16, I was heartbroke. But now I'm thankful my mom protected me the way she did!
    ChefMom94

    Answer by ChefMom94 at 5:01 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • You are the mom!!!! Make the rules. Being 15 she could be a young sophmore, & he could be an older Junior. Yes they are kids & he is a nice boy. If you object she could rebell & go for a boy her age with alot of problems. Don't be strict just pratical. Good Luck Mom & have you explained the birds & bees to her?
    Tinkerbell3396

    Answer by Tinkerbell3396 at 9:03 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I would allow it. I think that if you are informed and you let them see each other then your daughter is more then likely going to talk to you about the relationship.

    If you try to stop it now she is going to find a way to see him behind your back. I know because I have been there. You need to tell her what you expect and what you think she should do. Then let her make her own decisions. Let her know that you are there for her with what ever decisions she makes.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:39 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • if they both are in school together. I dont see why not. I have always dated boys to grades ahead of me. My now husband, was a junior, when I met him my freshman year. He always treated me nice. Now he provides for me to stay at home and take care of our son, whom we just love. And we both love each other very much....to this day
    cloud144

    Answer by cloud144 at 8:00 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • My first boyfriend was 4 yrs older then me, we started dating at age 14 to 18. He was a great 1st boyfriend as he was the one that would not have sex with me. I said no for about 1 yr. Then when I wanted too, he said no for the next two yrs! REALLY! It happens. I did not have sex until 6 months shy of 18 myself! It was him, not me.
    I have two brothers two yrs my junior, so for me, dating guys was like dating them. I liked older ones. Just keep talking to her and him.
    MikkiB

    Answer by MikkiB at 8:15 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I would allow it! I have a 15yr old daughter, w/ a 17yr bf that I CAN'T stand! So, you are lucky, at least you like the boy! lol.. I would set some ground rules. My daughters bf comes over, but they are not allowed in her room. They have the living room, & hubby and I are in and out. I think it depends on your relationship w/ your daughter.. I have one w/ mine where she knows she can talk to me about ANYTHING! By that I do mean boys, sex, school, etc.. I do agree w/ the other moms, the more you try to bar her from seeing him the more she'll find a way.. I wish you lots of luck..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 8:55 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

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