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How do you swallow the fact of accepting your childrens father back into there lives after 12 years of no communication?

I'm not sure how to react though i'm paying for him to get here. I'm not sure if it's right or wrong I just want my children to be happy. Is that wrong? Help, help, help.

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apiegurl

Asked by apiegurl at 9:16 AM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 12 (674 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You want your children to be happy. That is the bottom line. The man doesn't have to be in your life, but in theirs. Limit your persoanl contact with him and be there to support your children whether things go well or not. Your a good mom. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:21 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • How do your children feel about it? I'm assuming they're at least 12 and probably old/mature enough to discuss it with you?
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 9:27 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Thank you both for your answers my daughter is 18 and my son is 13 but he doesnt know him at all. I will limit my contact with him I know enough to do that but I hope all goes well the kids are really excited and they are the ones who want him here. Thats why I did what I did im a grown adult im sure ill be fine and yea i will take the good with the bad thanks again.
    apiegurl

    Comment by apiegurl (original poster) at 9:50 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • what do your children think about seeing him since you said 12 yrs i am also assuming that they are at least 12 so they are old enough to decide them selfs if they want to see him
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 9:51 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I would def. ask them how they feel about it and have them sit with you and him and let them say what they have to say and go on from there. As a child who never knew my father, I would have loved to at least have a chance to know what kind of person he was and develop my own opinion on the matter. Now all I have is my mom saying one thing and his side saying completely different things.
    dawnmarie70535

    Answer by dawnmarie70535 at 2:55 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I tmight be easier if you just focus on them and their needs....this must be a really hard situation for you though!! It sounds like you will be fine. You obviously care for them and want whats best for them. With that attitude it's hard to go wrong. And if you need to lock yourself in your room at the end of a hard day and cry it out, well, that s what you do! Good luck mama.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 3:04 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Sounds like your on the right track. Be prepared to handle any questions they may have. And remember, perception is everything so both you and your ex will possibly have different views of the past. Try your best to be understanding of any emotions that follow.
    Good luck mama!
    ToriBabe1221

    Answer by ToriBabe1221 at 9:18 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • You want your children happy. It may not be easy but you do what you can. Good luck!
    countryspun

    Answer by countryspun at 12:10 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

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