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HOw do I explain???

My oldest daughter, and oldest son are driving me crazy and it seems my MS is getting much worse, my doctor tells me its from stress.. how do I excplain to them that stressing mommy out could make her very sick... without making them feel guilty, but it actually making an impact???

 
SLVN_Jen

Asked by SLVN_Jen at 4:56 PM on Oct. 5, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 2 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • If it's the truth, what's wrong with making them feel guilty? Guilt is a powerful emotion with prevents people from doing all sort's of bad things. I wouldn't go as far as to tell them their bad, or that their killing me, but I don't see anything wrong with letting them know that the added stress is making you more sick, and if they cared about your health they would stop.
    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 5:14 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Could your MS be caused by drinking too much diet soda? There are medical study's proving the artifical sweetners are cause hundred of thousands new cases of MS. Tell your kids the truth. If guilt works to make them behave then so be it. Why should you get sicker due to kids being stressful? Tell them the truth.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 5:14 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • You need to keep their dicipline and your MS separate issues. I hope you are in contact with an MS support group--that is where I would start. My sister-in-law has had MS since her youngest was 3--she is now 21. You do NOT want to make them responsible for your disease---I know the stress doesn't help---but this isn't about using guilt---I agree there are times for that--but not when it comes to a parent's well-being. You & your husband can sit down with them and explain to them what the stress does to you and thus there are going to be some new rules--but don't "blame" for the the symptoms. How old are they--that makes a big difference.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • I'm not sure of their ages, but I don't see why they shouldn't know respect enough to understand that their actions and behaviors affect others - particularly in a family. I say tell them and hold them responsible for helping out with chores, doing their school without your having to nag, etc. If they are younger than 10 they may not do things perfectly, but their attitudes should convey that they care to be helpful instead of selfish. If they are over 10 they should just plain know better than to cause you harm by the way they are acting.
    GrowingMama

    Answer by GrowingMama at 11:52 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • It sounds like they are old enough to be responsible. So instead of making them feel guilty, make them feel helpful. I suffered from Chronic Fatigue for a very long time, and it's terrible. I told my daughter, "I'm sorry I'm not as active as other moms. In order for us to really have a good family, I need more rest and care sometimes. In those moments, it would really help me feel better faster if you did (whatever)." We talked about basic rules, what I need to compromise on, what she needs to help with, etc. We had a game plan for moments when I felt really bad. It helped her feel important to the family, and we also got more family time out of it. Now I'm better, and she's a responsible, independent teenager. Maybe you can come up with some posted ideas for your kids to help you out more. Seeing it in writing helps so much, to make it more authentic and longer lasting.
    ChefMom94

    Answer by ChefMom94 at 1:13 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

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