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2 Bumps

idk what to do....

My husband & I have been together for 6 years. I have been off of work since April due to pregnancy complications. I am pregnant with our 2nd child. Lately, he is being quite demanding. He has always had a bad temper and some anger issue but we have gotten passed them.I keep up with the house the best I can ( I am supposed to be on bed rest) and I take care of our 4 year old. I take care of our bills, talking to collectors or businesses things like that. He does not. he also complains about how the house is a mess but he cannot take out the garbage, clean the litter box, mop or even lift up a dish to wash it. Also, he has been watching porn a lot and going on adult dating sites. He says they are just another type of porn to him. He also puts things like his band before everything while I sit at home by myself. I love him & don't want a divorce but idk what to do. I'm sick of doing everything on my own while he has a good time.

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travisnowensmom

Asked by travisnowensmom at 10:48 AM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,379 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • wow- id tell him you need to step up be an adult/a man and help take care of this family it took two to make this baby and with you not wanting to help and me being on bedrest if anything so help me god happens to this child cause of your ways i will divorce you before you can blink, and for the litter pan your NOT supposed to change that at all... any pregnant lady isn't, id threaten him cause he is acting like a douche and that wouldn't fly in my house for long at all.. cause child support for two kids is a lot more then for 1 mr.!
    oppsdiditagain

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 10:54 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Sometimes a good two week trip to visit family or a friend can really put things into perspective for a guy. It sounds like he totally takes you for granted. He needs to learn what life would be like without you there.

    You can also make plans ahead of time for you to go do something with a friend while he stays home with your child. If he can go out to band practice & hang out with friends, you should be able to aswell. Make plans with someone, mark you calendar & keep reminding him that he needs to stay hom with your son so that you can have some "ME" time. Every once in a while, you should demand some time to yourself while he sits at home. Marriage is a two way street.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:54 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • have you tried talking to him? with my first i had to be in bed rest and well so the house wont be a mess and stuff you can try buying paper plates and cups thats what we ended up doing because hubby didnt want me washing the dishes and stuff. so he got that also he would get us food so i wuldnt cook orhe would buy the frozen food so he can just cook it in the microwave or oven. so i wouldnt be cooking and well about the house you can try to tell you son to clean up after his toys and tuff and when your hubby comes you can ask him if he can sweep a little. my whol pregnancy was highrisk and i was in bed rest from the beggining at 8 weeks an then at 7 months i went into preterm labor so i was incomplete bed rest. and well for the sexual i think you shoul talk to him depending on how open you guys are their are other ways he can have funwith you. and i think porn is ok but not the other sites i think yo should really talk to him
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 10:55 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • he is acting like a single man-so w hy not let him be one for awhile. My SO acting like that for awhile and we went to counseling and he finally saw how he acted like a single guy-and it was mean. I know you dont want to leave, and maybe that isnt the onbly way, but you have to do something to shake him up hon. you are on bedret and he compains that you dont clean? thats just mean and if it were me and he didnt want to step up, I would tell him to leave until hecan be a man, not a teen. good luck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:56 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • oh i forgot to add we did hav a lot of difficult times and stuff but now we are even better than before all this happen but we did talk alot during all tha time so dont worry hopefully it will work out and everythign wil be awesome and happy adn your baby will come healthy and you can go back to doig your normal stuff i know its horrible to be in bed all day long but its worth it at the end best of lucks
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 10:57 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • omg,that's a really tuff one,and it sure don't sound right at all.Maybe you need to see if there's logs on the pc of his activity.It's sounding like he dreads coming home,even though you are doing the best you can.He should be more sympathetic to your situation too.Has his attitudes changed towards you suddenly,or been building up? I can't imagine putting up with my hubby looking up porn n dating sites,it sure sounds like a cheat to me.Sorry,don't want to add to your stress darlin,but man,that's pretty much in your face stuff he's doing.You do deserve better!
    TootieFruitie

    Answer by TootieFruitie at 10:57 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • if I threaten to leave I know he will just let me walk right out the door and threaten to keep our son. My son is the most important person the me. He's my life. I dont want to hurt him by leaving his daddy. And I have left...went on Vaca for a week. He was sweet the whole time, talked to me everyday on the phone, told me how much he missed me and as soon as I get home he's mean to me again. All my friends are pretty much single or able to go out to bars and such which I am not into. Also I have like 1 friend who is my sister in law but she works 12 hours everyday and her and her husband share one car. just like my husband and I. and my husband is never home for example: monday he went fishing when he got home, tuesday he went to the bar, wednesday he was home but slept, thursday band practice, last night practice, today he will be gone all day and has a show tonight and tomorrow i wanted to go to the fair but we have no $$
    travisnowensmom

    Comment by travisnowensmom (original poster) at 11:00 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • saw some great stuff here-the porn and dating sights r not the same.dating sites?he is actually meeting and talking to women interested in talking to him, not ome random porn actress doing a job...to me thats cheating-take the advice that said go visit family for a lil bit-let him see what he could lose. t hats probably the only hope.(hugs)
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:00 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • ya well he can threaten, but he won't get your son, so he can shove that up his ass.. and if hes mean like this is he really worth having around? i mean is he a good role model for your son? don't want your son to think this is how you treat ladies, i think that he needs to either grow up or get shipped out.. if its been this way with him for some time it wont change, so either therapy for the two of you or him changing.. or gotta just accept that you deserve a real man, and leave, and he won't get your son so that threat is empty! as long as your not some drug ridden hooker or something he wont get him, and sorry dating sites are not porn sites.. i bet anything hes on there to find someone.. men don't just go on them to jack off... IMO
    oppsdiditagain

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 11:20 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Have you talked to him about it??
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 6:21 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

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