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fear of doing this..

so all i ever wanted was 1 child .. a girl, knew the name everything, well i have my daughter she is everything to me she is 20 months old, and I'm pregnant again, cause i compromised with hubby for two(he wanted 4 i wanted 1), it is another girl as well, i will admit i am happy and glad she is healthy and all that, but i won't lie i have a fear of what if i favor my older daughter cause i feel like I'm cheating her out of having me to herself for longer, or that i just rather be with the child i tried for 3 years to conceive (this one 6 months)I guess I'm just worried i will have a stronger bond with my oldest daughter, idk.. maybe it's all hormones right now I'm just worried and what can i do to make sure that doesn't happen but where i feel like I'm not abandoning my first love.. i already feel guilty for even thinking this!

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oppsdiditagain

Asked by oppsdiditagain at 10:50 AM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (2,494 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Your not cheating your girl out of you trust me im a younger sister. i have a son who is 2 years old and the more time that goes by the more i worry if i wait till he is 6 to have another baby will the age gap be to much for them to bond? my DF is 8 years younger than his sister and 16 years older than his brother and they arent very close in fact he tried to help raise his brother like he was the parent. i want my little boy to have a playmate close to his age so i think your doing a great thing! your eldest you wished for your entire life so right now you are closer to her but when the next is born i think youll be close to her as well, what you have to think about it how close your children will be :) trust me i worry all the time that my son doesnt play with kids his own age enough, but theres nothing more i can do.
    Bewitching88

    Answer by Bewitching88 at 11:00 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I felt the same way when I got pregnant after my second son. My second son and I had a very strong bond and when I became pregnant again I was very upset that my second son wasn't going to be the baby anymore and that I'd have to give him less time to take care of the new baby and I felt guilty that I had such a strong bond with my second son and might not feel the same with my third son. When all was said and done I love all my children differently (I have 7). Some I have a stronger bond with on a cuddly lovey level others I love to play sports with, others I have intelligent conversations with. It all works. It's all love. Every relationship will change slightly after the baby but it will all even out and be wonderful!
    Cassarah

    Answer by Cassarah at 11:01 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • i felt this same way i have a 2 yr old son and a 4m old son when i was pregnant i was in fear that i wasnt going to love them the same that my oldest was going to feel horrible since i was going to have to be doing a lot of stuff for te baby. but when i had him it was great i mean the love is just so big for both of them and to tel you the truth their isno way you can love one more than the other its just a very strong love for both of them. i have made my oldest a part of everything i do with the baby and his always helping with baby and stuf his actually very happy with baby. he loves him and i lov eboth of them so dont worry everythign will be awsome. jsut make sure you let your daughter help out even in the simple task let her bring the deper or something dont worry it will work out
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 11:02 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I waited a few years for my 3rd because I felt the same way, and it turned into a 5yr difference. I can see how you feel that way, but it too shall pass. They will each have their different personalities, and you'll love them equally for WHO they are.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 11:07 AM on Aug. 7, 2010

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